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February 28, 2011

Listening and praying...


One thing I've noticed is that I often write of songs and sermons. I find myself always listening and waiting for God to speak to me, and He does through both of these things.

I use these words to fill empty time with the prevention of letting my thoughts wander back to our dark day of loss. So often, after a huge trauma, I think that it is easy to let emotions overtake you. I know I have struggled with this. I have fought off panic attacks and I have found myself weeping uncontrollably, but yet I have to stop and say, Your still God and You know.

When the pain is too much to take, God can help me.

Yet I know, that when I start to feel this way, I need to do something to keep my mind busy.

For a while I was searching for something to do just that. That is when I decided to start this blog to fill my time. I notice that it has helped me so much to read more, write more, and listen more.

I spend much of my time in Church and reading my Bible and I'm thankful for the comforting words that God provides me with day after day. They are such a comfort to me and they help me to stay strong and face the day.

After you lose a child, it's very challenging to go through days in the normal way you used to. I struggle with many difficult visions and memories that break my heart. Sometimes, these things are hard to shake after what I've been through in losing Maddie. I'm constantly praying that God can take the bad memories, and leave the good. And everyday, He does.

There are many times throughout the day, that something I encounter will trigger a memory. When this happens is when I really struggle, and I have to find something to keep my mind busy.

So on this day, as I was struggling, God really spoke to me.

Again... =)

Rick had preached the week prior on Job and he continued on with the sermon on this night.

I didn't mention it last week, but there was something that happened with Job, right before God blessed him back double of what he had before.

For we know that Job never did challenge God. He was a good and faithful servant. Although, Job did have to get himself to a certain place in his life. Once he did this, it was then when God blessed him.

So, what was it that Job did to get there?

Well, He prayed.

And he didn't just pray for whatever.... He prayed specifically for something...

He prayed for his friends!

Job 42:10 And the Lord turned the capitivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends, also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

Job had to get the the place where He was in prayer. Not only did he just pray, he prayed for something, someone in specific. He prayed for his friends.

I know I find myself in prayer somedays just rambling on about this or about that. I know God knows my heart, but I have learned to be better about my prayers. I need to be going to the Lord with certain things in mind, and completly pray for those things knowing God will hear them, and if it's His will, answer them.

Job did just that, he went to prayer on behalf of his friends.

Wow, I'm learning so much from this man.

How to deal with trials and temptations.
How to overcome terrible heartache and loss.
How to continue to walk with God in the midst of grief and despair.

And now, How to pray.

So as my days turn into nights and I'm still struggling, what do I do?

I pray.

I pray for my friends.

What a simple lesson is being learned here at the end of the book of Job. I am so very thankful for the power of prayer. I'm thankful for a Father who is willing to listen to my prayers.

I'm thankful for when my nights seem long and hard, I can keep my mind occupied in the fervency of prayer for my sweet friends. There are many, and I will continue to pray for them the rest of my life.

For I KNOW, that it is the power of prayer that is getting me through. And can I just say to those of you have have been praying for me,

Thank you!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. For I know it is you who are lifting my name up to our Heavenly father and He is carrying me through.Night after night, Rick and I go to the Lord in prayer. Some nights, we even fall asleep praying for our sweet friends. It helps us to know that we are going to God on our friends behalf, and it helps us to keep our minds busy as we slip off into sleep. What a blessing.

I want blessings on my life, like Job. I want to be counted faithful to the Lord like Job. I want to be a witness of true character and strength like Job, and I'm asking God to help me with this daily.

I'm so thankful that when I feel at my lowest point, God can lift me up as I lift up others.

Oh the power of prayer for our friends. May I continue to keep my mind busy and contained through a faithful prayer life in this very thing.

Luke 11:1 ...Lord, teach us to pray...


  1. your blog updates remind me to pray...

  2. Natalie, I'm so thankful for you! You are inspiring to so many. Your heart shines through your writings. I have been reading other blogs of those going through similar trials as you, but are in dispair. God is not hardly ever mentioned. How sad. You greiving heart is seen in your writing, but you have a blessed hope! Praise God for His grace in your life. You are an encouragement and a rebuke to me. I have to catch myself each day, worrying, afraid that God may take my little man from me. But then I remember He is a good God and He is sovereign. Nothing can happen to us unless God allows it for His glory and for our greatest good. God is sovereign. We have nothing but for Him. If it all would be taken away from us and all we had left is His promise of salvation, we would be richer than the richest man on earth. For we have hope. We have Heaven. We have Christ and an eternity with HIM! Praise God for His unending blessings!!

  3. Natalie,

    Just wanted to let you know I continue to pray for you daily. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  4. My friend Brittany Brown sent me a link to your blog and I am grateful. Your story has helped me to be thankful for my boys. We started with 3 girls first, then the Lord gave us 5 boys in a row. I have been ready for a girl for a while now and struggled with being disappointed the last few times we had a boy. I know God know exactly what each family needs. We are expecting baby #9 right now so reading your blog has helped me to already be thankful for this baby...even if its a boy! Also not to take for granted any of my children. I know they are His on loan to us for as long as He sees fit. Thanks again for your tremendous testimony! I told my girls about you and they are praying for you too! They are ages 9, 10, and 11.

  5. "to keep my mind busy and contained through a faithful prayer life" - that's powerful!! you are an incredible encouragement to me and to so many others! thank you for sharing sweet Maddie Grace with us.
    continuing in prayer for you and your precious family.
    with love from a fellow crownie ('93-'96)