I woke up today to a phone call. "Babe, I accidentally took your keys with me to work today."
Ugh... Not a good start to the day. Considering that my spare set was also with my Hubby at work. I had no groceries in the fridge, and I just can't stand the thought of feeling stranded...
Yet, Rick encouraged me to still have a good day, and he worked out rides for Noah to go to school, and for me to take Eli to speech.
I spent the morning "grumpy." I just hated when my morning's started off bad. Maybe I was more mad I couldn't go get my Sugar free vanilla iced coffee from McDonald's, that I was totally craving. Either way, it didn't matter.
11:00 rolled around and we were off to speech. My sweet friend Angel came to pick Eli and I up to drive us. We jumped in her truck and we went.
Since Angel was with me, I sent Eli back to therapy alone with just the teacher. (praying he would behave for her :)
I had a moment to sit there and breathe. Considering past "speech" experiences with everything that had happened, I was actually grateful to have a friend sitting there with me.
We started talking and you won't guess what happened next...
She started talking about my sweet Maddie Grace. She told me how much Maddie had changed her life and what she meant to her.
What a relief! Someone wanted to talk to me about my Madeline. I know I find it often here, but in other settings not many people bring her up. In other places not behind a computer, but in the real world, it's a soft subject.
She said. "I know your heart is broken and I know you are missing her so much. I just want you to know that as time goes on, it will get a little easier. Over time, your heart won't feel quite so heavy. You'll be able to breathe a little better. Some days I still wake up with such a heavy heart, but the truth is, losing my Mom has changed me, and I don't want to forget that. So I'm okay with waking up with a hurting heart, because it reminds me of my Mom and why I hurt."
She went on to tell me about her sweet Mother, and the namesake for her precious daughter, Beverly(who is one of my SS girls). She talked about what a wonderful Christian woman her Mother was, and how much she and everyone else adored her. For her mom had passed away while she was expecting her daughter, and her other daughter was still very small. She told me that she never imagined to have lost her Mom at such a young age, but, God had shared some precious things with her.
She went on to share them with me.
She said "My mom passed away on January the 11th."
Stunned I listened,
"The day of Maddie's funeral I had a hard time, but I convinced myself I was going to do this for my Mom and for Maddie."
I couldn't believe that it was 1/11. Maddie Grace's original due date, and the day of her funeral. I would've never known that was her Mom's day too. I continued to listen.
She said "My Mom passed away at the age of 52. I couldn't understand why she had to go so young, and I knew that she could have done so much more with her life. I remembered in God's word where it talks of a life being 70 years. I wrestled thinking, yes, 70 years is a long life. My mom was gone in 52, and she could've done so much more in a longer lifetime... It was then that God showed me, "Angel, she accomplished what she needed too in 52 years, so be glad that she fulfilled her purpose quickly, for she got done early."
She then told me that even though she missed her Mom and would've loved to have had her longer, she got done early. She had fulfilled God's purpose in her life, and it was her time to go home.
Then she went on to tell me this....
"And Natalie... Maddie fulfilled her life's purpose in 2 days."
"She accomplished a lifetime of work in just 2 short days, and YOU should be so proud of her for that." =)
I sat there in awe as she continued to talk, thanking God she was there with me. Thanking God that Rick "accidentally" took my keys to work with him that day.
She went on...
"And I can't help but tell you something else. Your precious daughter already has crowns to throw at Jesus' feet."
I sat there puzzled...
"For at Maddie's funeral, 2 souls were saved. And because of just those 2 souls, your Maddie already has soulwinning crowns in Heaven, and one day she will cast those at the feet of Jesus."
By this point I was really crying. What a thought!
My sweet little princess has already done a great work for the Lord. For she has crowns to show for her little life, and one day she WILL throw those crowns at the feet of Jesus.
How precious is that? How good is God?
So precious. So good.
She went on to encourage me and tell me things that helped her get through hard nights and long days, following such heartache and loss.
Then she shared one more thing...
Angel told me that as she was helping to prepare the reception of Maddie's funeral, God laid the song on her heart, "His eye is on the sparrow."
She placed this little bird on my reception table, along with this sweet card.
Angel and her sweet husband also bought this beautiful framed hymn for us, and had it placed at the funeral among the flowers. On the back of the frame she typed the sweetest note. At the bottom of the note read the words, "Though we may never understand God's plan, I pray you find comfort in knowing, God is watching over you."
She had NO idea that God had given me "bird" signs all throughout my pregnancy.
Isn't it neat how God works and speaks to the heart of our friends as well. =)
"His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me!"
I was clinging onto her words, so thankful for the things God had given her to share with me that day.
In that moment, I felt so blessed. I was blessed by my daughter, and blessed with this sweet friend. I felt so encouraged by how Angel was helping me in that moment, on that day.
It made me want to do the same for so many others.
Ultimately, that is why I'm writing this blog. I'm writing for my heart to heal, yes... But, also to share my experiences and the advice I've been given, to help so many others.
Oh may this not fall on deaf ears. May people see that sometimes sharing an experience from a loss or heartache, can be such an encouragement to someone else who is going through a trial.
You never know who you can touch if you are just willing to reach out.
I praise the Lord for my friend "Angel" that day. =) God knew I needed her friendship and her words.
May God use MY words in a great way as well. For we all are hurting, for different reasons. If we could come together and encourage each other, wouldn't this world be so much easier to live in?
I think so. =)
Much love and grace for you and your broken heart.