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April 11, 2011

Wisdom and Understanding...

One thing that had weighed heavy on my mind since Madeline passed away, was trying to understand... Understand why she was needed more in Heaven than here. Understand why I didn't get to spend more time with her. Understand why she didn't get to live a long full life on this earth.

But the truth is, those answers will never come... until Heaven.

Rick and I have searched God out, for these answers many times. And He has answered us in different ways. Through prayer. Through His Word. Through the lives that she has touched.

Just knowing the impact she has had on this world, does give us such peace. She has made a difference here, and continues to daily.

But the exact answer of why our daughter? Why so soon? Yes, it has crossed our minds. Especailly shortly after she passed away, but now we can look to God and say, What now Lord? What do you want us to do now? For we know He is the One in control. He is full of wisdom and His ways are perfect.

We have come to a place where it doesn't matter why. And believe me, it took us a while to get to that place. It was full surrender, but we truly have learned, God knows all things and God knows best.

Sometimes I wonder if she was placed here for those 2 short days, just for the those who needed to hear her story, and be saved. That was her purpose.

People are going to Heaven through God's saving grace, they've accepted Him. God's grace is such a wonderful thing. I know that He even had a purpose in the name He laid on our hearts to name her. He had a perfect plan all along.

It was in my Husbands message last Wednesday night, that some of the why questions were brought to light for me.

The Bible says in Job 28:12 But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding?

Then again in Job 28:20 it asks again.
Whence then cometh wisdom? and where is the place of understanding?

When the tragedies of life come, the human nature wants to know why...
So many are searching, for answers to the question. Why?

And yet, so many never find those answers.

Why did my loved one get sick?
Why did my Husband lose his job?
Why did our adoption fall through?
Why can't we conceive a baby?
Why did my Parent pass away so young?
Why does my child struggle with his/her health?
Why does my loved one have cancer?

So many questions.

If you continue to read on in this book of Job, you will find God's answer to the questions about wisdom and understanding.

Job 28:28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

There it is, plain as day.

The fear of the Lord = Wisdom
Departing from evil= Understanding

Since I have been faced with the tragedy of losing a child, I have learned so much. I have learned to fully surrender to God. I have learned to trust Him in all things. I have learned to know that He is in control.

The way that I've been living my life seems much different than the way many other's I've known who've lost children. Clinging to God is key. Not turning from Him, but running to Him. Fearing Him brings wisdom to life. Departing from evil brings understanding.

When you are walking with the Lord, you won't ask God, why? You will know that He is in control and He will carry you through whatever struggle or challenge you are faced with. God's plan is perfect, even if it may not be what we would have chosen, it's still perfect.

Rick said in his message "No amount of Human effort can grasp the Wisdom needed to understand and solve life's major problems and mysteries."

That's so powerful! Our human effort and minds can't comprehend it. But God is big, and His ways are past finding out. We can't know them, but our Maker does.

We don't understand, but through Gods wisdom, He gives us the strength to go on, and find joy again.

Learning the Wisdom of the Lord will bring more understanding.

I'm learning to understand that God had a great plan with our lives in the passing of our daughter. It has given us a platform to speak of her and the grace of God. It has helped us to witness to and lead many people to the Lord.

I think it would be a shame if I had never shared her sweet story with others and tell them, we don't know how short life can be. Her story is the perfect testimony of the fact that life is short. Yet, we know, Eternity is long.

Do you know the Lord? Do you know where you will spend eternity? John 3:16

If you know God and are saved, then you will spend eternity in Heaven.

While we are down here, we have a job to do. Tell others how to get there.

Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Maddie Grace has made Heaven even more real to me. I have someone waiting there for me now. I wonder what she see's? I wonder what she is doing? But the fact of the matter is, I know she is in a perfect place. A place I know I will be going when I take my last breath here.

I can spend my life trying to answer the Why's? But instead, I think I will take what God has given me and use it.

I know God took her for a great purpose. So, I will just continue to seek out God's wisdom and understanding in my life.

He knows.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


  1. This post is such a blessing, Natalie. I personally struggled with some of the questions you mentioned - wondering why we could not have a baby, and then why God allowed more than one adoption to fall through. So many questions, and seemingly no answers. I had to decide if I was willing to trust God when I didn't understand - when it didn't make sense. Was I willing to love Him and trust Him if He never gave me children? I am so thankful that God was faithful and longsuffering with me while I struggled with my grief, and even anger. I still do not understand why, but I know that God's will is good and perfect, and I want to trust Him more. I am so thankful that He has chosen to give us two beautiful children in His time. I am praying for you and Rick, that God will continue to comfort and strengthen your hearts. Psalm 90:12-17 came to mind as I was reading your post. Thank you for allowing the Lord to be glorified through your lives. Keep shining!

  2. Niki,
    Thank you so much for your sweet words and for sharing your heart with me. I'm thankful that this post spoke to you. God has been really working on my heart with this issue. I think it's so normal to wonder why, but we both know God knows best. God is good. I'm so thankful that God chose to give you those two babies, too. =) You are an absolutely wonderful mother and Godly example. I'm honored to know you. Thank you for your sweet words and continued prayer. It really means so much to me. =)

  3. God never ceases to amaze me. I posted about this same passage of Scripture just yesterday on my own blog. I'm going through Job right now and it was apart of my reading yesterday. Isn't this profound? God has really been dealing with my heart on this whole issue of asking "why" over things, and this Scripture passage shed a whole new light on it for me. Thank you for the continued encouragement!

  4. Nat this was beautiful. Full of wisdom, thank you for sharing!!! Praying for you!!~heidi