A little bit of everything...

Well I have SO much to talk about and have had such a hard time finding the time to hop on here...

First things first. I got a new haircut! =)

I decided I wanted a fresh new look, so last Friday I chopped off about 4 1/2 inches and went super blonde. It's been a nice change and the perfect cut for summer. Not to mention, it makes for the cutest little pony tail ever. ha ha. I usually keep my hair really long, but I thought why not change things up a bit. My life has changed so much and so have I.

Also, over the weekend, God was really moving and working in mine and Rick's life. He preached on Sunday morning a message about "Don't waste your Valley." He talked about making the most of the trials in our lives and honoring and praising God through them. I think the entire Church was in tears and before the service even ended, people were making their way forward to the altar. Rick was still preaching! It was amazing to see a revival break out in our Church. The altar was flooded and people were talking to the Lord. I even saw 3 elderly couple's come forward as I was going back to my seat. God was moving in an amazing way.

It reminded me of a service that Rick preached back at Camp Victory when we were just teenagers. You could feel the Holy Spirit across the auditorium just like I remember feeling that night in Somerset, KY. I enjoyed watching the Lord use my precious boyfriend then in the work of the Lord, and now 13 years later, He's still using him. It's moments like that, that I'm so very honored and thankful to be in the ministry. It's emotionally and physically exhausting at times, but I'm so happy to be a part of it. God is really working in the lives and hearts of our Church and we will be forever grateful for what happened on Sunday the 5th of June. As Rick said "Services like that can't be manufactured, it was ALL GOD."

Sunday afternoon on our way home from Church, I decided to stop by the cemetery. Maddie would have been turning 5 months old the next day, and I was really missing her. I thought that it might be a little easier to go back this time since some time had passed and I have been having brighter days, but it wasn't. I found myself really sad and crying the whole time I was there.

I sat and just talked to Maddie Grace that day. I told her all about what was going on and our family. I told her how much we missed her. I told her how proud she would have been of her Daddy for preaching a revival that morning. It maybe sounds silly, but just talking to her in that quiet cemetery really helped me. I was asking God to give me strength and to take care of my baby girl. I know He is. She is with the One who created her.

As I pulled away, I felt better. Yet, I just don't think I will ever get over the fact that I have a child who is no longer with me. I will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that I have to go to the cemetery to visit her. It's just such an unnatural thing. I'm just so thankful that we have kept her little memory so alive in our lives. Even that morning, Rick was talking about her in his message. She will always be with us.

So, this week it has been all VBS, all week. Rick runs our Vacation Bible School each summer and I have to brag on him and say that he does an amazing job. This year our theme is "Ministry."  We have life size game boards with a spiritual application for each one of them. We decorated the entire gymnasium like the game Monopoly and called it "Ministry." We made poster board size cards in place of all the game cards with the books of the Bible on them. We also built a jail and a bank. It's going to be so fun! Instead of get out of jail free cards we have the gospel on "get out of hell free" cards. I'm really praying that God will use next week to allow many boys and girls to come to Him and get saved.

My room is a Candy Land theme aka "Promise Land." We have been working hard to make it look like the actual game. It's looking great! I really think the kids are going to love seeing the room and hearing all about the true promise land, Heaven.

Please pray for us as we prepare this week for next week. If any of you live in the Lebanon or surrounding area, our VBS will be held Monday June 13th- Friday June 17th from 6-8 pm. It's going to be a blast!!!

One more thing, that I am so beyond thrilled to share!.... My brother and his precious wife are expecting their second baby! We have been praying that God would bless them for a while now and this week, He did! They are due in February and we cannot wait to meet this new little boy/girl. I absolutely love being an Aunt to their little boy, Kaelan and I am thrilled to become an aunt again.

God is really working in our family. After so much heart ache and loss for us all, God is really blessing. He is pulling us closer than ever through the lives of these new little ones on the way. I'm so thankful for the smiles on the faces of my family again. I'm so thankful for these new lives that will be joining us this winter. Please pray for them, along with us and our pregnancies.

I feel like it is quite a testimony of just how good God is on our lives, that we are able to find such happiness and joy again. God is blessing and we are so grateful for that.

In closing, I would just like to thank ALL of you who continue to write me and encourage me. I appreciate all of you who have shared just how much Maddie Grace has made an impact on your lives. She sure has on ours as well, and it's nice to know that even though she is no longer here, God is still using her little life to do great things on this earth. I'm still so proud to be her Mama. I miss her dearly, but I'm so thankful for what she has done and continue to do with her life. What a blessing.

Much Love,
Natalie

Baby "Hope" at 12 weeks...

We are busy around here but I wanted to take a little time to post an update.

Last week I went to the Doctor to check on little baby "hope."

 When I got to the Doctor, I was a ball of nerves as usual. I just wanted to hear the heartbeat and know everything was okay.

They had me fill out my paper work and pre-registration forms. The whole time I was filling them out ,  I just kept thinking "I just did this..." It was a mixture of sadness and excitement for me. Sadness because I loved every second of being in the hospital and the memories of Maddie's perfect delivery and day there. Excitement because I'm hoping this time around will be just as happy, but this baby will come home to stay. So many different emotions.

After I went through my routine of checking blood pressure/ weight etc, It was finally time to listen to the heartbeat. It's something I dream about. I remember after Maddie passed away, I could still hear the little fetal heartbeat in my dreams. There is just no sweeter sound.

So, after a quick hello to my favorite nurse and everything was set, my Doctor came in to check on the baby. I laid back anticipating hearing that precious sound.

My doctor was moving the Doppler around and pointing out the different sounds to me. But we couldn't find baby's heartbeat... I was a mess. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I just started thinking all the "what ifs."

After a few more minutes, my sweet Doctor said that sometimes the heartbeats are hard to find at this stage and suggested we take a peek at the baby on ultrasound.

Walking down the hallway, I was so scared. I have been in this very place at almost this exact stage in my pregnancy and there never was another heartbeat. I had lost that little one. So I just started praying.

My Doctor seemed to think that everything was just fine, and he assured me that we would see a happy healthy baby.

He was right. =)

As soon as he started the ultrasound, there was our little one jumping around like a jumping bean. It had a good strong heartbeat and everything looked perfect.

It was a little too soon to see what the gender was, but I didn't even care. I was just so happy that our little baby hope was okay. God is good.

Meet our little guy/girl. <3

After the ultrasound, my Doctor came back in in to let me know that everything once again looks great and not to change one thing. He told me that we have a lot to look forward to and that this baby will help us so much. He's right. He really truly cares about Rick and I and how we are doing. He's more than just a Doctor, he's a friend. He goes above and beyond to help us feel good. I don't know many Doctors like that. He really is one in a million.

So, after an emotional appointment, everything was great. I left that day with a smile on my face and my baby's sweet picture in my hand. God is good.

I miss Maddie so much, but God is good. He is giving us a glimmer of hope through a time when all hope seemed lost. I'm so grateful for this.

Today Maddie Grace would be turning 5 months old. It's still hard to believe that this much time has passed. I wonder so many things, but I know God has a plan.

Please continue to pray for us as the pregnancy progresses and as we still miss our little girl.
I appreciate you all being here and continuing to walk this road with us. It means the world to me.

Much Love, Natalie

Heaven is sweeter every day...

So, I promised to share my story about Sunday...

Well, my Pastor (Father in law) and his wife are out of town on vacation. So, Rick (who is our Assistant Pastor) will be filling in for him the next two weeks. I always get really nervous but excited when Rick has to run the entire service and preach, but he does so well. He really is a natural in front of people and God has given him the amazing gift of preaching.

So, Sunday was going great. I had been in prayer for Rick all morning and was asking God to bless the service. Rick preached a message on "The greatest Soldier who ever lived." It was so good and so educational! He made remembrance to all the men and women who have fought and sacrificed for our country. He talked about all the sacrifices they made.

He talked about how they gave up their "old address" to travel and make a new dwelling place somewhere else. They left the comfort of their homes and the company of their families to go out and fight.

He talked about how they gave up their "old apparel" to take and put on a special uniform as they fight for our country. They put away their everyday clothes and were robed in a uniform that honors our wonderful country.

They traded in their "old accomplishments" for new ones. They left their lives and accomplishments at home. They fought and paid the price for all the freedoms we enjoy today... They gave so much.

They stepped onto a harsh battlefield ready to fight fully knowing it could cost them everything, and they gave their lives for a great cause... The freedom we hold today is not free at all. It cost such a price.

But the freedoms we have in this life, are not the only freedoms that we should hold dear.
The freedom we have over hell and the grave cost more than we can pay... It cost Jesus His life. For there is no way to Heaven, but through Him.

As we honored those who gave their all and sacrificed for our freedom, we were reminded of the greatest soldier who ever lived. Jesus Christ.

Jesus left his Heavenly address and he put away his Heavenly apparel, to come to this earth with a purpose in mind. He sacrificed His own life for ours, fully knowing it would cost Him His life.

He so willingly gave His life, so we can have the opportunity to have the ultimate freedom. The freedom from Hell.

As he preached this message, I was so encouraged. So aware of just how much Jesus gave, His all. Praise God!

In closing, Rick said something that really spoke to me. He said "If Jesus was to walk into this Church right now and stand before you. Could He look at you and say that you have accepted him? Or would he look at you and say, No, they denied me."

After all He has done, how could anyone deny Him?

Many do and this is a sad, sad shame.

He didn't do all of this without a purpose, just like our braves soldiers today, He entered this battle for our lives with His whole heart. He wants you to go to Heaven, and you can.

After this amazing service, something so wonderful happened. A sweet girl around my age came forward and told Rick she wanted to be saved...

Rick asked me to show her and we went into the Preacher's office. Before we got started, I shared with her what a blessing it was for me to get to talk to her about these things.

I told her how since Maddie passed away, Heaven has become even more real to me and I get so thrilled knowing someone else is headed there. She told me that she had been following my story with Maddie and that I was an inspiration to her. It was a blessing.

So, I sat there that day and told her how to go to Heaven. How God loved her, but we are sinners and our sin has to be paid for, but that Jesus paid for this sin. I told her about how Jesus didn't just die but that He rose again. I asked her if she believed these things and she answered that she did. Then I told her that she simply had to "ask" Him to forgive her and save her... Guess what?

She did.

I couldn't hold back the tears as I told her that was the best decision she will make in this life, because it affects her eternity. She told me with tears in her eyes how much "better" she felt.

I knew what she meant. I remember as a 16 year old girl feeling that weight lifted from my shoulders. No more fear. No more doubt.

I couldn't help but smile knowing that Maddie Grace was a part of that celebration going on up in Heaven. Another soul was saved. Another name written in the book of life.

I can't wait to go there. I can't wait to see my Lord and Savior. I can't wait to hold my little girl again and kiss my sweet grandparents, and family who have gone on before me.

Until that day, I have made it my mission. Maddie had made it my mission, to tell everyone around me about Heaven, and how to go there.

Thank you Jesus for sacrificing your life for the ultimate freedom.

Heaven really is getting sweeter everyday.