tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59763081027858185202024-03-13T23:13:53.204-04:00God's gift of "Grace"This is the story and the cry of my heart for my sweet daughter, Madeline Grace. She tiptoed into our lives for just a short time, but my prayer is that her life and mine can be a testimony of God's grace for many years to come.Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-46620349438507220212017-01-08T22:22:00.000-05:002017-01-09T10:05:02.003-05:00Dear Maddie Grace... 6 Years<div class="_rp_H5 ms-bg-color-themeLight" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: #c7e0f4; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; padding: 10px 10px 10px 15px;">
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Dear Maddie Grace,<br />
<br />
Hi sweet girl. <3 Happy Birthday!!!<br />
<br />
6 years.<br />
<br />
It really doesn't seem possible, and I've missed you every single one of those days, since you left us to be with Jesus.<br />
<br />
Home. You are home.<br />
<br />
Oh how we ache to be home with you. And one day we will.<br />
<br />
I felt stronger than I have ever been this year. God has provided so much healing. When I think of you, I smile way more than I cry. Your reminders seem to always be around me. I feel almost like you're cheering me on. It's the best feeling ever. I pray I'm making you proud. You sure make me proud. I love you deeply.<br />
<br />
So, this year you would have started Kindergarten. It's hard to believe... I had a lump in my throat the first day of school but I did ok. Eli's sweet teacher and our dear friend Whitney gave us the sweetest backpack with a birdie on it in your honor.<br />
I loved seeing your little honorary backpack with the boys. It gave me comfort and peace. And in my heart I pictured you there, smiling in the first day picture, right there in the middle of them. Oh how they loved you too. But as they headed off to their first day, I went inside to the sweetest little rainbows and hugged them, thanking God for providing me with so much hope and His mercy.<br />
<br />
Jonah Asher and Emme Mercy have given me so much purpose, SO much love and so much peace that Gods ways are perfect. Please thank the Lord for sending them to help heal my aching arms.<br />
<br />
Friday on your birthday they giggled as they gobbled up some "Maddie-cakes" for you and looked for Maddie birds. They talk about you all the time. You are such a part of our days. I don't think one day goes by that someone doesn't say your name. You are always with us. Always sweet girl.<br />
<br />
Your Maddie tree bloomed this year at the farm. It was SO beautiful! I took the most precious picture of Emmaline next to it in a darling little dress. The dress had little bluebirds and precious pink dogwood blooms on it. I'll always cherish that photograph.<br />
I love finding ways to photograph you girls together. It helps my heart to feel whole.<br />
<br />
While visiting Disney this year on our summer vacation, we were able to take Emmaline onto the new frozen ride. She LOVES Elsa and Anna... sweet sisters.<br />
I giggled wondering if you would've had a favorite and would've argued about who got to be who... It would be so neat to see the two of you together. :) I often wonder if you would you look at all alike? Would you be silly and sassy just like Emmaline? She's so much fun! Based on you being so wild during my pregnancy and the fact that you were so wide awake the two days we had you, I'm thinking you two would be alot alike.. Although, she looks like me and you my love looked JUST like your Daddy. I still cry when I think just how much you favored him. You were his mini. So so sweet.<br />
<br />
I thought of you in front of the castle and many times throughout our week at Disney.<br />
<br />
Especially when the castle lit up pink!<br />
Oh how I feel at home with you there.<br />
<br />
I saw little girls around your age dressed up as their favortie princess' and I pictured you in Heaven in your castle in the sky twirling in your beautiful dress. I have always pictured you twirling.. I'm not sure why. But whenever your little sister twirls, its like a wave of emotion comes over me.<br />
My sweet girls.<br />
I love you both so much. Oh how I miss you.<br />
<br />
To think you never knew pain, or sadness or sickness, it brings me peace.<br />
<br />
Only love, you felt... only love, and then you were off to see the one who created it. What a thought!<br />
<br />
Sometimes I close my eyes and think back to the moment I first saw you, to our perfect day in the hospital, to bringing you home, hearing your daddy singing softly to you the most beautiful hymns... so many dreams. I had so many dreams for you. But God knew best. And now you are with the best and I'm SO thankful for that.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago your little brother Jonah (and your irish twin) turned 5. It was excititng! Every birthday Jonah has I can't help but find myself emotional with joy that God sent him to help us heal and to give us hope.. and he truly has. He is our little dove, our birdie boy, our Jonah bear and our Peter Pan. We celebrated with the biggest Neverland birthday party you can imagine. It was so fun. There are not many days you will find Jonah wothout a Peter Pan or Captain Hook costume on. I love his little imagination, his hugs and his smile. He truly is a blessing! I can still see you in his face when he sleeps. You two will always have a special bond.<br />
<br />
Emmaline is growing so quickly. She's 2 1/2 now and she's now sleeping in her big girl bed. It was sad taking down the last baby crib. We've had a crib up for the last 11 years. But it was time and I'm excitied about this next stage of life. We got Emmaline a cinderella carriage bed and she loves it! She is so sweet and so girly. She loves babydolls and princess', teaparties and playing makeup and hair with Mommy. She's teaching me so many things about raising a daughter. But there is not one thing that we do together that I do not mention or think of you.<br />
<br />
You will always be my #1 girl, Madeline. I love you so much! One day I dream of seeing my two girls together, and I cannot wait for that day.<br />
<br />
For your birthday we celebrated with baloons and cupcakes and we sang to you. We bought you some new flowers for your spot and all of your siblings brought a little Maddie bird to you. The snowstorm that the Lord sent was absolutely beautiful and the soft pink sunset couldn't have been more perfect.. like little hugs and kisses from you. As I went to bed my heart seemed much lighter than in years past.. because I just know.<br />
<br />
I know this was God's will. I see it so clearly.. I see how you were meant to be used in so many other ways than living here with us. And you have. You are still touching lives.<br />
<br />
Your story is still being told. It's really amazing Maddie!<br />
<br />
You my little love, have been such a life changer! Although I can't raise you like my other children, you still make me so proud! Every day. Your ministry is pointing others to HIM!<br />
<br />
Thank you Madeline for teaching me so much.<br />
<br />
Mostly for helping me be brave and for helping me to fully and completely trust God.<br />
<br />
Because in return, so much beauty has been born...<br />
<br />
And my hearts desire for my life is to still help lead others to Christ through your ministry.(Maddie's Ministry.)<br />
<br />
Your story truly shows Gods grace, love and mercy. And though I miss you dearly, I'm so honored that God chose you (my daughter) to be used in such a great way!<br />
<br />
Happy 6th Birthday sweet Maddie Grace!<br />
<br />
I'm one year closer to being with you forever!!<br />
<br />
Much love,<br />
Mommy<br />
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-20461549637829570372016-01-04T22:28:00.002-05:002016-01-04T23:32:02.719-05:00Dear Maddie Grace… 5 YearsHi Madeline,<br />
<br />
It's Mommy.<br />
<br />
I just had to write to you..<br />
<br />
It's been so long since I entered in this blog address and pulled up this page. To long.<br />
<br />
But tonight, I knew I needed to. I needed to write.<br />
<br />
So here I am.<br />
<br />
It's been almost 5 years since I met you and then had to say goodbye.<br />
<br />
With tears in my eyes and my fingers to this keyboard I'm here. I can feel you. I can feel healing.<br />
<br />
So many times I came here, not sure what I wanted to say or how to say it, but I wrote. And it has helped heal me. It really has.<br />
<br />
SO many memories are flooding back as I sit here in the quiet, just me and this computer.<br />
<br />
It was here that I came when I didn't know what else to do.<br />
<br />
It was here when the Lord gave me words to help myself and by many testimonies, so many others.<br />
<br />
I miss being here. I miss writing about my day to day struggles and victories…. and I mostly miss <i>saying your name</i>.<br />
<br />
I wish my days allowed more time to sit in the quiet with you.. but they don't.<br />
And honestly that 's okay because the noise and the busyness of your brothers and sister is what I need in this season of my life. God knew it's exactly what I needed and it truly is.<br />
<br />
I sat there today with Jonah and Emmaline playing quietly and watched the first snow flurries of the season fall softly to the ground; and I thanked God and thought for you.<br />
<br />
Your baby brother and sister have done something wonderful for my heart. They have restored a hope and a joy that truly has help to heal me. I'm so thankful for that.. and for God's amazing mercy on me.<br />
<br />
As I sat there and thought of you, so many things crossed my mind..<br />
<br />
Who would you be as you would be turning 5?<br />
What kind of party would you ask for?<br />
What would your little voice sound like?<br />
Would your hair still be that beautiful dark brown?<br />
What color would your eyes be?<br />
Would you love music as I thought you would?<br />
Would you sing all the time, my sweet bird?<br />
Who would be your favorite princess?<br />
Would you love to dance and spin?<br />
Would we have tea parties and get manicures?<br />
Would you still look just like your Daddy?<br />
Which brother would you be the most like?<br />
Who would you be???<br />
<br />
So many questions…<br />
<br />
For a long time I would get so sad as I would think about them.. And I still do a little..<br />
But it's okay. I'm really okay.<br />
<br />
I guess, I just really miss you. <br />
<br />
I know I always will and I know that will never change. Time has helped some and God has healed me in ways I truly didn't think possible.<br />
<br />
Honestly, His grace is so amazing.. but you know that don't you sweet girl?<br />
<br />
Oh how I wish I could see what you see, and experience what you have. Eternity with Jesus.. What that must be like? I'm so glad one day, I too will know.<br />
<br />
I'm so glad your Daddy shared Jesus with me almost 17 years ago.. He loves me so much that he wanted to make sure I could spend eternity there too. He's amazing Maddie Grace. I love him so much! He truly makes me better.. He makes everyone better, really. I wish you could know him down here.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I just sit and think about my story and how I met your Daddy and how I got saved. Then we were married and started our family. I love our little story. I still can't believe that God blessed me with all 5 of you in 8 short years.. He is so good. I never even thought I could have babies and wow was I so wrong. I'm thankful for that.<br />
<br />
I feel like my life's calling is truly to be a Mom. I'm not always the best.. I'm impatient, I get frustrated, and sometimes I feel like I'm totally failing… but goodness I love it. I love mothering and guiding and helping these little people to grow. Sometimes I get sad that I don't get that with you, but then I have to remind myself, God has you.. and you truly need nothing else.<br />
<br />
But, as your birthday approaches I'm emotional, because around here we like to do birthdays big. =)<br />
I wish I could throw you a party and watch you eat cake in a big tutu and dance around with your little friends and giggle. I wish it more than anything.. But I know and I have to remind myself that none of it really matters. For you are where we all would love to be. You're with the one who made birthdays possible. The giver of life.. it never ceases to amaze me.<br />
<br />
I had an extremely hard time this year on Jonah's birthday. I'm not really sure why?<br />
I mean 4 isn't one of the bigger milestones… but then it dawned on me… he's such a comfort to me and has been since 8 weeks after I lost you.. He gave me a glimmer of hope during the darkest and hardest time of my life. He gave me continued purpose. Now he's growing up and becoming more independent and it just reminded me, time is passing… Jonah is 4 which means Maddie would be turning 5.. it took my breath away, it truly did..<br />
<br />
5… you would be 5?<br />
<br />
Only by the grace of God have I survived it.<br />
<br />
I miss you as much today as the morning you left me.<br />
<br />
I can still smell you. I can still feel your sweet hair against my cheek.<br />
<br />
I can still see your sweet face and your bright eyes staring right at me.<br />
<br />
I can still hear your Daddy singing gently to you down the hall in your nursery.<br />
<br />
I can still remember finally getting you to sleep after a long sleepless night.<br />
<br />
I try to forget all that came after that but it's still there.. like a scar that I see every day. It will always remain, reminding me of how far I have come and who I am today.<br />
<br />
In time it has faded but it's still there. And it makes me miss you.<br />
<br />
Oh how I miss you my love.<br />
Oh how I long to be with you again.<br />
Oh how I'm thankful for just the 2 days that I had to fall completely in love with you.<br />
<br />
You, sweet girl changed me.<br />
<br />
Forever.<br />
<br />
I still struggle, I still fail, I still disappoint myself, the Lord and others.<br />
I still have to make a complete effort every day to find joy in everything, as there is such a sadness that has lingered in my heart since the day you left me.<br />
<br />
But everyday, I find it. Somehow I do.<br />
<br />
I know some of that strength comes from you. And the rest from the Lord.<br />
<br />
I miss you Maddie Grace and I truly know my heart will never heal completely. And I don't' want it to. You are ever present in my heart, in my mind and in our day to day lives.<br />
<br />
You are my #3, my first baby girl. My dream come true.<br />
You were my bundle of pink after 2 boys. The joy in my heart and smile on my face. And you still bring me that joy, everyday.<br />
<br />
I still see you… in the birds, in the pink skies and in the beautiful fluffy white snowflakes.<br />
<br />
Every time I stand in front of Cinderella's castle, I feel you.<br />
<br />
Every milestone I watch Emmaline learn, I see you.<br />
<br />
With every mother/daughter moment I experience with her, I know you're still there.<br />
<br />
Whenever I hear or see or speak of grace. You're there.<br />
<br />
You always make your way into our photographs and you live on always here at our farm.<br />
<br />
You're with us. Others may not see you, but your here.<br />
<br />
And for that I'm thankful.<br />
<br />
You make me not afraid to talk about God, or Jesus or Heaven.. because it's personal to me now. More than ever.<br />
<br />
Oh Maddie I love how you have given me such a story to share… of God's grace. It's amazing the lives you have touched sweet girl.. but you know, don't you? It's truly amazing.<br />
<br />
So this year as your birthday approaches, I will do my best to smile.<br />
<br />
I can't throw you a party, and I won't be having a panic attack thinking about you going off to Kindergarten next fall, but that's okay..<br />
<br />
Because you are right where you need to be. And so am I.<br />
<br />
You are exactly where God wanted you.. and one day I will be with you.<br />
<br />
Oh Heaven how I long for thee...<br />
<br />
I try to think about Heaven and imagine how wonderful of a time you must be having. It gives me so much hope.. and also peace for the day.<br />
I thank God for His peace.<br />
<br />
Life is good sweet girl. I'm truly the happiest I've ever been. Noah, Elijah, Jonah and Emmaline bring me more joy and more love that I deserve. They are amazing.<br />
<br />
We had such a sweet Christmas.. I honestly didn't want it to end… but as it did there was my pink sunset and the hope of a new day with God's fresh mercy the next morning.<br />
<br />
Our life is not perfect.. and I never want it to be..<br />
<br />
Being broken makes me happy… because it makes me need God more.<br />
<br />
Thank you for helping me with that.<br />
<br />
I truly am better, Maddie Grace because of you.<br />
<br />
And though I don't get to mother you and watch you grow down here, I'm blessed. Our connection goes much deeper and much farther… to Heaven and back. That is so amazing to me.<br />
<br />
SO on your birthday, I will look through your pictures and likely cry =), and I'll hold and smell your little outfits like I always do.. We will visit your spot and send you balloons and sing happy birthday as we do each year..<br />
<br />
But this year, it's different.. and I'm okay.<br />
I'm finding my way and I'm continuing to grow in God's grace.<br />
<br />
I'm happy even though I'm sad if that makes any sense at all. =)<br />
<br />
My sweet friend Jennie wrote to encourage me today (and talking of her own experience with her daughter) she said this… "I'm in the settled stage with Elaine-- not life of course =), but I'm settled. It's good when my thoughts go to her. Not to say there aren't rough days-- they come… but she's settled in my heart. "<br />
<br />
I couldn't have spoken it better… I truly know what she means and that's exactly how I'm feeling…<br />
<br />
Settled.<br />
<br />
Please thank Jesus for sending me little angels on this earth to help and encourage me along the way.. It truly helps me so much..<br />
<br />
And if there's one thing I truly need on the 6th and the 8th it's strength.<br />
<br />
Strength to smile.<br />
Strength to laugh.<br />
Strength to rejoice that you never had to know the pain of this life.<br />
<br />
Oh I miss you Maddie… I really do.<br />
<br />
But I feel so much better.<br />
<br />
I feel settled.. I just needed to share with you my heart. <3<br />
<br />
Happy 5th Birthday my love!<br />
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Much Love,<br />
Mommy<br />
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-73394310567232264182014-11-13T13:07:00.002-05:002014-11-14T15:31:56.192-05:00All I can do is say thank you....<br />
Hello friends! This post is very over due!!<br />
<br />
I wanted to take some time away from our very full and busy life to share our sweet little girl with you. I know many of you have probably wondered "what happened" to us and I apologize for that.. To put it honestly, I just haven't had any extra time to blog!! I've been so busy raising up my four beautiful children that writing just had to be pushed to the back burner for a little while. Also, we had an incident shortly after Emmaline was born where someone was stealing her pictures and posing our sweet girl as her own. That was really hard on me so I took some time to just enjoy my love and keep her to myself. I'm thankful that is behind me.<br />
<br />
Since Emmaline has been born, everything has been great! She has been the sweetest addition to our family and has healed our hearts in ways we never imagined. There's not a day that goes by that I don't cry tears of joy over her. She is the sweetest blessing and she helps me so very much. I want to share our birth story with you.. and everything that has happened since and plan to do so in the upcoming posts. I'm going to do my best to catch you all up on the months since our sweet Em was born..<br />
<br />
But first things first!!! Here is a picture of me holding my sweet love for the first time.<br />
She absolutely took my breath away!<br />
<br />
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I held my baby girl in my arms on April 17th and have been in complete bliss ever since… The tears in my eyes are a complete testament to the Lords amazing mercy on our lives.. He truly gave us a special gift in giving us our sweet mercy girl. All I can do is thank Him over and over again for this sweet blessing!<br />
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Since that moment I first held her, so many fulfilling moments have taken place.<br />
<br />
The boys became big brothers to a much prayed for "little sister."<br />
Watching their sweet little faces meet her for the first time was something I'll never forget.<br />
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They are the best big brothers and have been so wonderful with their sweet little sis.<br />
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Introducing my daughter to my friends and family and honesty just getting to say her name every day has been beyond healing for me.<br />
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I'll share all about our Em's birth and our hospital stay in the next post. =)</div>
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Bringing home our bundle of pink has been so amazing.. Every day since there has been a new adventure, a new "first" and a new memory we've made.. Don't worry, I've documented and photographed all of it! =)</div>
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As soon as we got home, it was Easter the next day. I got to dress Emmaline up for her first Easter Sunday and it was so very special. My Mom came over to be a part of it and we were both in tears standing over her changing table, as I put my daughter in her very first dress. I can't explain to you the emotion I felt in my heart. My mom still buys me my Easter dress each year and I can't wait to do that for little Emmaline for years and years to come!!!<br />
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Here are a few pics of our sweet Easter blessing. She will always be our little "bunny."<br />
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Watching Rick hold Emmaline and sing to her absolutely melts my heart and gives my heart such a "whole" feeling again. He was meant to parent a little girl, he is absolutely amazing with her and I'm so thankful I get to experience seeing my sweet Husband with our daughter. I'll never forget him introducing her to her room… something we never got to do with Madeline. From that moment on, I knew everything we did would be an extra blessing because it would be something we only dreamed of with our sweet Maddie Grace. God has been so good.<br />
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Seeing Madeline in Emmaline's cheeks and little dimple chin makes me hopeful. And it reminds me that she is with us every single day; in the faces of my babies and in the chirps of every bird outside my window. I feel so much like Maddie is still a part of this family.. And having Emme just confirms that for me.<br />
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We've had quite a few photo sessions done since Emmaline has arrived and I'm loving it so much. I love having beautiful family photographs together, oh how much joy it brings to my soul.. Seeing a little splash of pink along with Madeline's shoes now in our photographs... there are just no words for the way my heart soars during these moments..<br />
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Our boys are completely smitten over her. She gets many hugs and kisses all day long..<br />
And I'm loving watching each of them interact with her and create bonds and relationships.<br />
I've waited so very long for moments like these and each one brings me to tears!<br />
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Every day the Lord continues to heal and bless me.. Every day I am grateful.<br />
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Emma Mercy has been the perfect addition to our family and has truly made us all feel "whole and entire" again.<br />
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Every day Rick and I still say that we can't believe we have a little girl and we praise God for his blessings.<br />
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Every smile, every new face she makes, every day she grows a little more it is such a gift and we are beyond grateful.<br />
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Some days I just sit and hold her and smell her hair and kiss her cheeks. She is like a breath of Heaven sent strait for us from the Lord. And from her big sister. =)<br />
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I now find myself just smiling all the time.. Full of the comfort of God's grace and mercy. He has been so very good in blessing us with this sweet gift. She fulfills us in ways we never imagined. She blesses us to the fullest.<br />
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She truly is a dream come true.<br />
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This little girl is proof that no mater how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true. <3</div>
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I'm so very grateful that the Lord has given us another sweet baby girl. And I never take one day with her for granted.. life is just to brief for that.. Maddie Grace taught me that. <br />
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So today, we will snuggle and she will nurse and we will continue to grow in love as an earthly family of 6. I'm so thankful for the beautiful blessing God has given us....<br />
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And as the song says..<br />
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All I can do is thank you for this life I never deserved...<br />
Wanna thank you for the grace I know I don't have to earn.<br />
You love me, you love me your mercy is proof.<br />
All I can do, is say Thank you... All I can do is say thank you!<br />
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Thank you Lord for your everlasting grace and mercy on our lives. We are so grateful.<br />
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Much love,<br />
Natalie<br />
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We just returned home from our first family vacation with Emmaline and we headed back to Disney World!!! I honestly can't wait to blog about it. I promise to catch you all up with our lives the last 6 months and I pray that now that winter is coming and we will be "In" a little more, I can do just that. Thank you for loving us and praying for us from afar. We love you all!Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-53060928678728862132014-04-29T17:45:00.001-04:002014-04-29T17:48:17.495-04:00Meet Emmaline Mercy!!!<span id="goog_693452795" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">She's here!!!!! And we are completely in love! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Emmaline Mercy came into this world on Thursday, April 17th at 10:10 pm weighing in at 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 20 inches long. Holding her in our arms has been such a dream come true!! We feel so blessed by this precious gift the Lord has given us.. I plan to write more soon but have had my arms full of love. In the mean time, enjoy this beautiful videos of our sweet new girl. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Much Love, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Just click on the link below.</span><br />
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<span id="goog_693452796" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/twutjwrdc85hrtg/em.wmv">https://www.dropbox.com/s/twutjwrdc85hrtg/em.wmv</a></span>Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-16382975645030275632014-04-16T13:49:00.000-04:002014-04-16T15:08:35.616-04:00A dream is a wish your heart makes....<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">My heart has been overwhelmed lately as I have had the wonderful opportunity of planning for and putting together a nursery for our sweet Emmaline.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It's still hard at moments to believe we are having another daughter, and I find myself quite emotional so much of the time thanking God for this precious gift.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">As a mother of a little girl in Heaven, there are so many "earthly" moments I feel like I've missed out on with Madeline the last three years. And so much of what I dreamed of with her just never was able to come true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Oh how thankful I am for second chances... =)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So as we have now prepared for baby girl number two, I find myself dreaming again.... a lot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I can't help but do it, as I have always longed to do so many things with our daughter one day.. Even before I ever had a daughter, I dreamed of so many things...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Having tea parties.. Playing dress up.. Watching Disney movies and playing with baby dolls. Going shopping and getting pedicures and just being "girls"...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">After 10 years of marriage and 8, 6 and 2 years of mothering little boys... It still doesn't seem real.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">But it is!!!!!!!!!!! And TOMORROW, Thursday April the 17th... we will be meeting our sweet little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">2 Christmas' ago, my sweet sister in law, Becky bought us a beautiful water globe for Maddie. They remember her every year at Christmas and always give us such sweet special gifts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It was a Cinderella carriage with Maddie's name on it. It is so very special and I cherish it so much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Then this year they got us another special snow globe.. It is a beautiful carousel and it plays the special precious song, "A dream is a wish your heart makes" from the movie Cinderella.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Becky pointed out the words to me... "No mater how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that you wish will come true"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Whoa. How did I miss these words all those years of growing up watching, listening to and pretending to be Cinderella? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I suppose as a carefree child, grief just didn't relate to me.. but oh how it does now!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">We put Madeline's Cinderella globe and carousel globe in my china cabinet with all her other special things and I peek at them from time to time, dreaming of what my little girl in Heaven is like... always with the same little song on my heart.. A dream is a wish your heart makes... I always find myself softly singing or humming it, dreaming and praying.. Thinking of Madeline, praying for Emmaline.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So, as we began preparing her nursery, I knew I wanted one of the little Cinderella quotes to be somewhere in her room.. After all, she is my princess just like her big sister and I feel like this is one way I can keep them both together..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So as I started planning and preparing what I wanted, something so special happened. At the end of the year work party for my Husband we received another VERY special gift... They had bought us a gift for baby Emmaline and presented it to us at Rick's work dinner.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">And you won't believe what it was.... =)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">The same Cinderella carriage, but this one had Emmaline's name on it!!! <3</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I got chills as we opened it and I immediately felt the Lords arms around me.. Oh how he knows our hearts. Oh how many times I wished I could put Maddie Grace's snow globe on her dresser and play it and twirl around with my little girl.. and though I didn't with her, I truly believe I'll get that opportunity with Emma Mercy.. What a blessing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Two little gifts, for my two little girls who will always be my princess'...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">When we left his work party that night I reminded Rick of the same snow globe that had been given to us for Madeline. I just couldn't believe that this was a coincidence. God laid it on those sweet ladies hearts to get this for Emmaline just like he had laid it on Rick's sister's heart to get it for Madeline. It made me smile.. I just love when God does things like this for me to further confirm his plan.. It truly blesses my heart and gives me strength to move forward..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So now a little Cinderella carriage sits on Em's dresser underneath the words, A dream is a wish your heart makes...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Oh how special it is...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Read these precious words...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">A Dream is a wish your heart makes, when your fast asleep. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">In dreams you lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for, you keep. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing.. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">A dream that you wish will come true... ~Cinderella <i class="_4-k1 img sp_4f50su sx_1c3777"></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Oh how I can relate to these words... The dreaming, the wishing, having faith, and the rainbows through the grief... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Emmaline is truly proof of that and I'm so thankful that the Lord is blessing us with her. She truly is a dream come true!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Please pray for us this Thursday as we will be welcoming our little girl into the world. Our arms can hardly wait to hold her, our hearts can hardly wait to meet her. She truly is a dream come true and a beautiful answer to a prayer from a God that is SO full of mercy! We are blessed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Thank you for walking this journey with us. I feel so very grateful to have so many sweet friends I've met through this blog. We can't wait to share our little blessing with you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Thank you!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Much Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Natalie</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">For some reason the blog isn't letting me load any more pictures... I'll try again soon. I can't wait to show you each detail to her sweet room and the beautiful snow globe. </span><br />
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-79714608636307706802014-02-22T12:50:00.001-05:002014-02-22T12:50:58.529-05:00Whole and Entire... <br />
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Hello friends!! We are doing well and plugging right along in our pregnancy!! I'm 31 weeks now and we are getting so close to meeting our sweet little girl! I'm just about finished with her precious nursery so I'll post a few pictures soon!!<br />
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In the mean time, head on over to this Living on PBJ today!! It's a Moms blog I have the opportunity to guest post on every month. Living on PBJ stands for Prayers, the Bible and Jesus!!<br />
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I know it will be an encouragement to you!!!<br />
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The post is titled... Whole and Entire... Enjoy!<br />
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<a href="https://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/">https://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/</a><br />
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Much Love,<br />
Natalie Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-77602986304570885472014-02-06T00:37:00.001-05:002014-02-06T13:30:14.134-05:00Be still....<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I'm sitting here tonight in a dark, quiet house while all the ones I love dearly are sleeping.<br /><br />
I can't seem to find myself able to rest as my mind races and ponders so many things that are going on in our lives right now.<br />
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It feels very similar to how I felt many nights after the passing of our sweet Madeline.<br />
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And just like those nights, the only way I seemed to find a relief to my echoing thoughts is to just get them onto paper.<br />
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As I sat in Church tonight and listened to my precious Rick bring a message to our congregation, I was so very grateful that the Lord had led him to preach on this very topic.<br />
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It's a verse I've read many times and something I have struggled with so often in my life, when I was going through hardships or heartache...<br />
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He reminded us to simply...<br />
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Be. Still.<br />
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As He brought forth the message, I found myself sitting in the pew and thinking, how glad I am that God knew this was exactly what I needed to hear tonight.<br />
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As time moves forward and closer to the impending arrival of our sweet Emmaline, I have so many fears and unsettling thoughts.<br />
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What if God chooses to call her home too?<br />
What if she isn't born healthy?<br />
What if I am decorating this beautiful nursery for her, much like I did for her sister, and she will not get to enjoy it.. Or wear these beautiful clothes?<br />
What if it just isn't God's will that I raise a daughter?<br />
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So many thoughts, so many questions.. So many fears.<br />
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Maybe they sound crazy to you but to me... I've been there. I've experienced them and I fear that they will happen again.<br />
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I'm sure it's just Satan trying to make me doubt the Lord and I truly don't. <br />
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Every day I ask Him for peace and grace and mercy to carry on.<br />
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Every day I truly believe that He loves me and has my best interest at hand. But my heart aches for what I had and lost and I pray so sincerely that I will not experience that again.<br /><br />
So as I listened to Rick remind us that God loves us and He is our refuge through the storm, my heart found comfort. He reminded us that God is there during our heartaches and fears and all we have to do is simply wait on Him and Be still, truly believing that He is God and He loves us.<br />
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In the moments after Madeline went to Heaven, when I couldn't seem to find comfort or peace, I would go to Him. Through prayer and through His Word, He would comfort me and give me strength. <br />
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In those quiet moments alone with the Lord seeking His face, He truly gave me grace. He offered a love and a comfort and a healing that no one else could.<br />
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In the silence and in the stillness, He drew me close to Him and calmed the storm that raged inside of my heart. Sure my heart was aching, but He truly calmed me as He wrapped His loving arms around me.<br />
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I'll never forget those moments I spent with the Lord. I want to always be able to go back to the deepest, darkest place I've been to, where the sorrow seemed so great that I could barely breathe; and remember it was Him that brought me through it. He carried me.<br />
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And as Rick mentioned tonight, Sometimes we have to wait for God to calm the waves and make the storm cease and then He'll call us to Him...<br />
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I feel like in my life I have experienced just that.<br />
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And at this moment in my life, I feel like I'm finding joy again that I thought I would never feel. I'm finding myself happy again and full of life like the "Natalie" before she lost her little girl.<br />
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I'll never fully be that girl again, before the loss of my child. I'm different, I am changed; but only God can help me to pick up the pieces and move forward. And He has.<br />
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So tonight I'm giving those fears once again to the Lord and asking Him to calm my heart. To help me to truly just be still and trust Him.<br />
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His love is greater than any love I've ever experienced. </span><br />
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His love is perfect.<br />
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So as I type these words and feel my precious daughter kicking and hiccupping inside of me, I'm grateful. I find peace and now I feel as though I can rest.<br />
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This may not be the life I imagined to have, but I truly believe that the Lord is doing something beautiful in my life.<br />
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And Lord willing in 11 short weeks, I will get to see that beauty in the flesh.<br />
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Until then, I will try my best to just simply "Be still and know that He is God..."<br />
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Are you hurting tonight dear friend, do you feel heartbroken and alone? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Please run to Him. He will calm the storm inside of you and provide a comfort that can not be found anywhere else. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">You just simply just have to trust Him and to be still and wait. He loves you and He has a perfect plan for your life. And while you may not understand it now, one day He will reveal all things to us. In His time.</span><br />
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God:</span><br />
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Much Love, <br />
Natalie</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-53290897342947849612014-01-06T10:54:00.001-05:002014-01-06T11:16:31.589-05:00Dear Maddie Grace.... 3 YearsDear Maddie Grace,<br />
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Hi my sweet girl. I can't believe it's been 3 years... can it really have been that long?<br />
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It seems that every year that goes by seems so surreal. One day it feels like you were just here in my arms and the next it feels like its been ages since I kissed those sweet cheeks of yours and felt your soft hair nestled in my neck. Oh how precious everything about you was. You were breathtaking Madeline. <3<br />
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I'll never forget this precious moment. I go back to it often in my mind when I'm missing you the most. I'm so thankful for such sweet memories with you, even if they were for such a brief time.<br />
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As I look back over the last three years, the biggest thing I can find myself thinking over and over again is how far we've come.<br />
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God truly has carried us.<br />
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The broken person I used to be is mending. Day by day I'm healing.<br />
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The sadness dims to the reality that you are with me every day. You are here in my heart. You are my daughter.<br />
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With ever bird that perches outside my window, with every snowflake falling softly to the ground, with every pink sunset that ends another beautiful day of life, you are here.<br />
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They are sweet reminders of you my sweet girl and oh how thankful I am that the Lord has given me these sweet reminders to cling too.<br />
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They carry me forward and remind me just how much God truly does love us.<br />
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So much has happened this year Maddie.. I really can't believe exactly where we are to be honest.<br />
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God has opened so many doors for our family and I just know that you have been a part of it all.<br />
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Grace is such a beautiful thing.<br />
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We are now settled in nicely to the farm... We named it after God's amazing grace and you sweet girl. Above the barn we had an artist paint "Amazing Grace"... and there is a little sparrow that is flying up to Heaven with your birth date is listed below.. Because that is truly when we learned just how great God's grace is in our lives. Daddy painted your tree on the doors so we will always remember the beautiful tree he painted in your nursery.. you are such a part of us here.<br />
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I don't remember much about my life "before" 1-6-11... It's all a blur really. <br />
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You changed me Maddie. <br />
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Forever.<br />
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I'm getting to the place now where I can understand why God called you home. He is showing me day by day. And now I'm able to thank Him. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. Because of you, I truly am better in so many areas of my life. So many people are.<br />
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I know I could have never said that 3 years ago.. Maybe not even 6 months ago.. but seeing the impact your life has made for Heaven has truly made me realize why God gave you life for even just a brief time. Lives have truly been touched and changed.<br />
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You did that Maddie.. and I feel closer to God than I ever have. I hate that losing you had to bring me to this place but I'm so glad you helped me to see that I needed to be better. I truly thank you for that.<br />
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As time moves forward I try my best to remember all the good that has come out of our story. On the days that grief creeps in and Satan tries to fill my mind with doubts, God reminds me and answers so many of my questions. It's been a sweet thing. I feel like the Lord is always speaking to me and calming my heart. He has been so faithful.<br />
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So as we settled into the farm in August and made it our home we found something else out sweet girl!!<br />
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We have another baby on the way.. What a sweet anniversary gift of 10 years your Daddy and I received.. <br />
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Jonah was almost 19 months when I found out which is really special because that's exactly how old Noah was when we found out Elijah was coming. =) They are both 28 months apart.. and then there is the beautiful space in the middle where you were and will always be. <br />
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We moved in to the house with our hearts full of love.. and we were so excited for another new beginning together as a family... for the very first post I wrote here on your blog was called just that.. A new beginning... oh how thankful I am for those. God truly is good in providing them.<br />
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So now we are here. We are happy and in love on this land that I know was only possible, because of the faithfulness we learned from losing you.. and I have to say, God has been faithful to us through it all.<br />
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I no longer wake up with such sadness in my heart that I can't breathe... I don't have to cry when I walk past your room or our room where we spent our last moments together. I'm so glad to have that all behind me. It was just getting to be to much.<br />
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It truly has been a fresh start and I find so much happiness here.. and I feel you here with me. It's the sweetest thing.<br />
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We found out just before Thanksgiving that God is in deed giving us another baby girl... and I honestly still can't believe it. I bet you had something to do with that didn't you? =)<br />
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It reminded me so much of the day we found out you were a girl.. Daddy and I were both crying and thanking God for his blessing.... and for pink. =)<br />
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In my heart I really thought God was giving us another baby girl and He truly confirmed His love for us in that moment. She is an answered prayer.<br />
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We are naming her Emmaline because we wanted a name that could honor you in a way.. Since Jonah's name honors you through a bird meaning we knew this name was perfect. We thought we were whole and entire with you.. but it just reminds us that He had more in store than we had "planned" and their names are Jonah and Emmaline. We are so grateful for them. Daddy and I love to say sweet Emmaline's name. It makes me smile at how beautiful and feminine it is.. but I have to say, I miss saying your name on an everyday basis. Sometimes when I hear your name out in public it still takes my breath away.. Oh how I loved you and your beautiful name. I say it often here in our home and we speak of it as a family but I do wish I could call your name and see you running towards me. Those are the hardest things for me. I just wonder so much. I'm thankful one day I will know.<br />
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I often picture you in Heaven.. I can see you giggling and spinning in circles with a beautiful smile on your face. I picture you in a big fluffy tutu with sweet pigtails in your gorgeous hair... I can't even imagine how pretty you are Maddie. You truly are an angel.<br />
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This year as we celebrated our first Christmas in the farmhouse, Daddy read the Christmas story to the boys... and the whole time all I could do was think of and picture you listening to the Christmas story from Jesus himself.. You were with the One we were celebrating.. What an honor. What a gift!<br />
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I wish I could just see a glimpse of you there, happy in Heaven.. What a beautiful picture that must be.<br />
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So now as this New Year begins and I am faced with another birthday without you, I've determined to try to be happy. For I know that is what you would want.. It's just hard baby girl. We miss you so much.<br />
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Everyday, we miss you.<br />
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It's amazing the impact you made in my life in just 2 short days.. You changed me forever.<br />
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So as we celebrate you today, please know this.. You my sweet girl, are amazing.<br />
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You continue to touch lives everyday. <br />
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Just a few weeks ago, I know you were able to meet one of the precious ones who was saved at your funeral.. I can't imagine what that was like.. Because of your life and his willingness to accept Jesus, Heaven has grown by another soul. And then just yesterday, his wife came to Church and was saved!!!I bet that was such a celebration you witnessed as her name was written down. Oh how happy this makes me. It was a really sweet gift going into your birthday.. Your ministry continues to touch lives.<br />
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Maddie that makes me so proud.. I pray daily for your brothers to live for God and impact this world for Heaven, but you did that already.. You have crowns laid up in Heaven already!! Oh how precious it will be the day you cast those at the feet of Jesus!<br />
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I don't know what this year will hold Maddie Grace, but I do know this.. God is continuing to heal our hearts and lead us on the most amazing journey in our lives.<br />
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He has now added a story of mercy to our story of grace and hope and we are so thankful.<br />
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Sometimes I look at Jonah's face and feel Emmaline kick and I just look at your Daddy and tell him, it's because of her... It's because of Madeline... for they would not have been a thought if you were still here. They really wouldn't. <br />
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And though I would never want to ever give you up. I'm glad that God continued to provide love and renewed hope and infinite mercy since He called you home.<br />
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It reminds me that He had such a plan with your life. <br />
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Such a plan.<br />
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So this year, as we prepare to welcome your Baby sister, we are scared Maddie. We have so many thoughts and fears that cross our minds but we are striving and trying our best to just trust God. He knows.<br />
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And Lord willing as she enters our family this April, I will think of you. I will remember you.<br />
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With every Mother/daughter moment I have with Emma Mercy, please just know that you are a part of it in my heart as well, Maddie Grace.<br />
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I know this will make you happy. I know it makes me happy. Yet a little sad that you can't be here with her too.<br />
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I'm so grateful to get to use some of the precious things we bought for you for your little sister, but in my heart it's a very mixed feeling. I need your strength Maddie. Please ask God to help me.<br />
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And please thank Him for continuing to write a beautiful story with our lives. <br />
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I want to make you proud. I want to make your brothers proud. But most of all, Daddy and I want to make God proud. We want our lives to be evidence of the grace He provides for us in our lives.<br />
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So today Maddie, as we sing a Heavenly birthday song and send up balloons to you, please know this.. you are NEVER forgotten. <br />
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You live in our hearts and our lives everyday. Your brothers are always coloring me pictures and making me art projects of birds and our family with your name listed too.<br />
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You are with us every single day.<br />
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And I know, in the blink of an eye for you, we will all be together again.<br />
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Happy Birthday Madeline Grace!!<br />
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Please ask God to wrap his arms of comfort around us today as we celebrate you without you here.<br />
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I miss you Baby Girl. Every. Day.<br />
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May your life continue to shine through ours and always be a witness of just how good God truly is.<br />
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I love you, Maddie! Happy Birthday<br />
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Love, Mommy<br />
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Hebrews 4:16 But let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in the time of need.<br />
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-23543996038123571202013-12-11T17:15:00.001-05:002013-12-11T17:15:36.285-05:00Happiness and healing...<br />
Yesterday was a very sweet and healing day for our family.<br />
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We woke up to a surprise, lots of unexpected Maddie kisses (snow) from our girl!! It was beautiful. The farm looked like a winter wonderland covered in snow and icicles.. I couldn't help but smile and feel like Madeline was smiling down on us on this special day.<br />
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We planned to take the boys out of school that day because we had something very special planned for them. They were getting to go with us to my 20 week ultrasound and take a peek at their little sister. <3 But luckily, they had a snow day!!<br />
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We excitedly got ready and headed to the hospital. <br />
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I heard them talking and giggling in the backseat and my heart smiled.<br />
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Some days when I look into my older boys eyes I feel sorry for them.<br />
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All the things they were missing out on with not having their baby sister grow up with them broke my heart... I watch them with their baby girl cousins... They are so gentle, so loving. <br />
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I watch them with Jonah and I just know that they would have been great with Madeline.<br />
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But that just wasn't meant to be. God had other plans for her little life. <3<br />
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But today, today was a hopeful day that they would get that opportunity again.<br />
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And I do truly believe they will.<br />
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We piled into the room and began the ultrasound.. I couldn't help but let my mind race back to each time I was here with the three little ones that surrounded me.. and the one who wasn't there.<br />
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What a blessing these children are to me. What love the Lord has blessed me with. He has given us an overabundance of love through each of our sweet babies and we are forever grateful.<br />
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We watched our sweet girl and this time instead of being fixed on the screen.. I looked around at all of my boys faces. I watched the nurse point out things and I watched the boys get excited. It was precious.<br />
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Seeing Emmaline's little profile made me cry. She is so beautiful.<br />
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It was just a reminded that God truly does give such beauty through the storm.<br />
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I miss Madeline. I miss her every day. And as her 3rd birthday approaches, I miss her even more.<br />
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But there is just something special about our little Emmaline. And I have a feeling that Maddie has some help in picking her out just for us.<br />
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Our little bunny.<br />
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God gave me one girl with wings, and the other with feet that I hope stay planted on this earth here with us.<br />
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He is so gracious and full of mercy. Every day.<br />
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Here are a few sweet moments from yesterday...<br />
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My sweet boy... We were here two years ago having him. And now</div>
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we are returning to see his little sister. <3 We are so thankful.</div>
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This statue has given me peace through many appointments starting with my pregnancy with Maddie Grace. I just love this little girl holding this little dove. <3 </div>
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Sweet smiles from some sweet little boys!</div>
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Noah and Elijah were so excited to see Emmaline on T.V. =)</div>
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Little Jonah wasn't really cooperating with the camera that morning.</div>
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Although I did catch him giving Daddy a little pout. =)</div>
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So happy!</div>
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Yay for a baby sister!!</div>
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My Mom gave me this pink scarf and made me take a picture. =) </div>
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I still can't believe God is giving me another little girl.</div>
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I feel so blessed.</div>
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Meet Emmaline Mercy</div>
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Oh sweet girl... Do you know how loved you are?</div>
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Do you know how much of a blessing you are to this family?</div>
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We can't wait to meet you... this little girl who is continuing to heal our hearts so much. <3</div>
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Much Love,</div>
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Natalie</div>
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-8046006531680328282013-11-23T17:50:00.002-05:002013-11-23T21:35:15.059-05:00Our story of mercy... We are having a... =)<br />
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I'm still in tears as I type this today.. thanking God and praising Him for His grace and mercy on Rick and I. He truly is so faithful.<br />
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It's been two weeks but I'm still in awe as I sit here and feel my little "girl" kicking and hopping about in my belly.. Yes, he has blessed us with another little girl!!!! <br />
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We are so thrilled and we have a pretty strong feeling, we will get to watch this one grow up!!!! =) This one I truly believe, we will keep.<br />
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God is so good.<br />
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November the 10th, Rick and I walked very anxiously into our gender ultrasound, fully trusting God heard our cries for mercy... And He did.<br />
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He provided.<br />
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He answered. =)<br />
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I sat there holding my precious Rick's hand as I heard the words we had prayed so hard for... "It's a GIRL!".... <br />
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A little girl.<br />
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Tears instantly came. <br />
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Praises were shouted; and it was there we watched our precious daughter moving all around the ultrasound screen. She kicked her little legs, stretched her little arms and wiggled all around. She was perfect. She is perfect<br />
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I looked over to the love of my life and watched the smile that was upon his face grow.. I felt in that moment, that God gave me so much of what I asked for..<br />
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More than for myself, I wanted this for Rick. And God gave him just that.<br />
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In the next few moments I just took it all in.. I listened to our tech say "she" and "her" and I felt like I was in Heaven.. I remember feeling just like this when we found out Madeline was a girl.. it felt so good. So healing.<br />
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Rick and I left that day with the biggest smiles on our faces. I think we both got to the car and screamed! We were so happy.<br />
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We both truly believed God was blessing us with another daughter, but hearing it and seeing her made it so real. He truly gave us what we asked for.<br />
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He is so full of mercy.<br />
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We went to lunch that afternoon and just sat there in tears, praising God and thinking how happy the boys would be when we told them. For they had prayed for this too. <3<br />
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After lunch we went shopping for our sweet girl to pick out the first few special things from just us. It's a tradition after each gender ultrasound appointment.<br />
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We both were in search of the "perfect" thing.. and we were filled with delight as we peeked through racks of pink to find just that.<br />
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Pink!<br />
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Did I say... pink? =)<br />
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This Momma of three boys has never been happier to fill a cart full of pink items. I still can't believe it. God is so good.<br />
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As we drove home to pick up our boys that afternoon, Rick and I sat in silence (our minds filled the events that had just taken place) and we listened to the music playing. I looked over at him as we traveled down the road.. He smiled and reached for my hand. <br />
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It was a perfect day. <br />
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PERFECT.<br />
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Our hearts were overflowing.<br />
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We quickly put together a gender reveal party and invited over our sweet families to tell them the good news. I'll never forget the looks on some of their faces. The hugs, the smiles... the tears... This baby continues to heal all of us.<br />
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God has sent us another reinforcement to His plan.<br />
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Oh my He has had a plan with our lives.. I often tell Rick... I just LOVE the story God is writing with our lives. He truly had a plan.. <br />
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And even though we didn't see it then, on the saddest day of our lives... His hand is unfolding it to us now.. day by day...<br />
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Oh how we have been celebrating our sweet little one on the way...<br />
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Our bunny baby... Our Mercy girl...<br />
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Her name will be...<br />
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Emmaline Mercy<br />
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Emmaline means whole and entire.<br />
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Mercy means something which to be thankful for.. a blessing.<br />
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God couldn't have led us to a more perfect name for our sweet girl.<br />
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He has been speaking to me about "mercy" for over a year now and I truly knew that would be our next baby girls middle name. I felt like every time I read a verse about mercy or heard a song with mercy, God was whispering to me... just wait... She's coming... Be patient.<br />
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She was worth the wait.<br />
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I will always speak of my Madeline Grace. I will always wonder who she would be today. I will always look at Emmaline once she arrives and wonder how much they would've loved each other.. But I know He had a plan.<br />
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God is so full of grace and mercy.. <br />
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We do not deserve anything but yet He's blessed us SO much.<br />
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Oh how grateful we are. We can't wait to meet her. <3<br />
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Just before the reveal...</div>
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It's a.........</div>
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GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</div>
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SO HAPPY!</div>
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Cute table</div>
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Bow ties or tutu's??</div>
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So fun!!</div>
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I'm loving Rick's "surprised" face... haha</div>
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He's going to be a great big brother!</div>
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Lexie Lu sporting her tiara and tutu</div>
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For this child we prayed... and God heard our cry! So grateful for our sweet Emmaline on the way!!!</div>
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Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16<br />
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But the mercy of the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span> is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; Psalm 103:17<br />
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Have mercy upon us, O <span class="small-caps">Lord</span>, have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly filled with contempt. Psalm 123:2<br />
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Who remembered us in our low estate: for his mercy endureth for ever: Psalm 136:23<br />
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The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day: 2 Timothy 1:18<br />
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Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3<br />
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Thank you for rejoicing with us!!<br />
Much love,<br />
Natalie <3<br />
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-23812911492190850332013-10-13T00:07:00.000-04:002013-10-13T00:25:49.547-04:00Our family is growing!!! =)<br />
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We are so excited and thrilled to announce that we have another baby on the way!! Yes, we are adding a new pumpkin to the Ross pumpkin patch. =)<br />
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I am currently 12 weeks along and the baby is due next spring on April the 27th.<br />
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How I told Rick. =) <br />
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This has most definitely been the hardest secret to keep out of all of them!! Baby number 5 seems to be popping out much quicker than the rest.. but it's totally worth it. I'm so happy. =)</div>
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God has truly been so good to our family. His grace and mercy is always abundantly showing in our lives. We feel so very honored for the opportunity for our family to be growing with one more child! Our boys are over the moon excited and can't wait for the baby to get here.<br />
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The pregnancy is going great so far other than me being extremely sick with this one. It's definitely the sickest I've been in a pregnancy but I'm taking it one day at a time and remaining thankful. <br />
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We will be finding out the sex of the baby in about 6 weeks and we can not wait... I'm so anxious to see if we will be able to raise a daughter, or another son. I have so many stories and blessings to share about this little one on the way. God has been showing me some really neat things.. similar to Jonah's pregnancy. He/She has already blessed my heart so much. God truly is so good.<br />
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Other than our pregnancy, we have been busy! We are now almost all moved into the farmhouse and we just returned from a wonderful family vacation/cruise to the Bahamas.. I hope to update some pictures from this past summer and of the new house as soon as I'm feeling a little better.<br />
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Thank you for following our story. I'm so grateful that our precious Maddie Grace is ever present here in our lives even though it's been almost 3 years since the Lord called her home. I can't help but look at little Jonah and think of this little baby and smile... for they would not have been here. God truly does have a plan. We may not understand it at the time, but over time, He will reveal it to us little by little. And one day when we reach Heaven, we will truly understand.<br />
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Maddie's ministry is growing and going so strong and I'm so excited that her little life continues to touch others. We continue to look forward to the ways God will use her story to impact this world for Heaven. It's so special.<br />
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Please pray for us and our new little one. We believe God has great things planned, and we can't wait to find out!!!!<br />
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Thank you for rejoicing with us!<br />
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Much Love,<br />
NatalieNatalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-33807468262167853222013-08-20T15:33:00.001-04:002013-08-20T16:02:04.965-04:00Eli goes to Kindergarten...<br />
Well today was a big day for us.. We sent our "little boy in the middle" off to school! <br />
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Elijah Braden (my big 5 1/2 year old) started Kindergarten today. I really can't believe it to be honest. <br />
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It still feels like yesterday I was in the hospital having him, and now he's school age! As the saying goes, "don't blink, it goes by fast," I now realize, I am in total agreement with that. <br />
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I wonder if this little boy knows how much he has helped heal my heart?<br />
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When Maddie Grace passed away, Eli was my little encourager at home. Noah was in Kindergarten at the time and I just don't know what I would have done without having my little Eli around. <br />
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He gave me so much purpose during the day when all I wanted to do was crawl up in my bed and cry. He would jump in my lap, tell me he loves me and would ask me to read him a book. Those moments with him will always hold a special place in my heart. My little boys have truly helped me through missing my little girl. When it ached so much and I wanted was to hold her; I would hold them.<br />
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Making Eli's little lunches and watching his face light up in excitement over simple every day things, gave me peace. God knew I needed my my Eli Bear to help me through the quiet moments of thought, because if you know him you know there is nothing quiet about him. =) I loved his distractions.<br />
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So, as I packed his lunch yesterday, I thought to myself, it has come. <br />
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This moment where I let go of his hand and send him off to someone else, has come. <br />
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I watched him this morning with a joy filled face as he skipped up the stairs to discover his new classroom. <br />
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I watched as he hung his little book bag up on the hook marked with his name. <br />
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I watched as he chatted among the other students and I thought to myself "I did it." "We did it"...<br />
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One more of our little birdies has lifted off safely from the nest. <br />
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After 5 and a half years by his Mama's side... He's ready to take flight. <br />
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It may only be a short flight today... like until noon. =) But it's still a big one for us.<br />
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I saw so many things in his happy little face this morning. But mostly, I saw contentment.<br />
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There comes a point in every Mama's life where we have to find contentment in right where we are. <br />
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I am so very sad that Eli won't be by my side all day long anymore, but at the same time; I'm thrilled!<br />
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We made it to Kindergarten.<br />
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He's happy and so... that makes me happy. <br />
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I can't even imagine the joy that lies ahead for our little Elijah Braden. <br />
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The new experiences, the knowledge he will gain in his elementary years; It tickles my heart. <br />
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I'm just so grateful that for the last five years of his life, he's been all mine.<br />
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I'm truly grateful for that.<br />
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With each big milestone of my boys, I'm always reminded that we will not experience those with Madeline. But, through her tiny little life, I'm reminded not to take for granted the ones I have with my beautiful boys. She gave me a greater appreciation for life and for my children.<br />
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As I watched Eli stand by his teacher today, (who also happens to be his Aunt :)... I beamed with pride! I sure am proud of this little boy.<br />
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What a joy he is to us! <br />
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Happy new school year Elijah Braden! <br />
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We are praying for great things as you start your new adventure!!! <br />
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We love you, <br />
Mommy and Daddy =)<br />
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Noah is also having a really big week!!! <br />
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Yesterday he turned eight!! Yes, eight! Man that makes me feel old... <br />
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And he just entered into the 3rd grade today. He is so happy! <br />
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I am throwing his birthday party this weekend and we can't wait. He has requested a "cowboys and indian" themed party... so fun!<br />
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Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, next week we will be starting to move!! We have so much going on in our lives right now so stay tuned! =) I'm hoping once we get settled at the farm I can catch you all up on of our fun from this summer! I'm also looking forward to spending some great one on one time with little Jonah Asher! We are so blessed!!!<br />
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Proverbs 22:6 <span class="text Prov-22-6" id="en-KJV-17022">Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.</span><br />
<span class="text Prov-22-6"></span><br />
Much Love,<br />
Natalie<br />
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Here are a few fun pictures of Eli as a baby and from today! Enjoy =)<br />
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Newborn Baby Eli</div>
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Toddler Eli</div>
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Kindergartener Eli!!!!</div>
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Of course Jonah needed a rocket back pack too. =) lol</div>
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Love my little boys!!!!</div>
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-2216919829648693862013-07-28T21:58:00.001-04:002013-07-28T21:58:10.683-04:00Team Ross... Play ball!!!What's more cute than 3 little boys???<br />
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Why three little boys in ball shirts covered in mud of course! =) <br />
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Here are all the shots from the boys "play ball" photo-shoot. I never thought I would a Momma of boys, but I sure am loving it! <br />
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Go team Ross!!! <br />
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Pictures were taken by Leah Sandlin of Precious Photography..<br />
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Ready... Play ball!</div>
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Jonah Asher- 17 months</div>
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Noah Riley-7</div>
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Elijah Braden-5</div>
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I'd pick them for my team any day!</div>
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I mean.... how cute is this? =)</div>
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Our sweet Cheerleader always watching over us in Heaven..</div>
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Miss you Maddie Grace. <3</div>
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Studs... just like Daddy!</div>
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Heartbreakers</div>
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Eli found a little friend</div>
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Mamas boys... SO.BLESSED.</div>
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Bubble gum, anyone?</div>
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Haha</div>
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I can't even take how cute he is. =)</div>
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Lol</div>
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What? I don't know who broke the window??</div>
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He did it! </div>
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Blowing a big old bubble.</div>
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And this is what happened when I took the gum away... =) </div>
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Hope you enjoyed my adorable boys!</div>
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Much Love,</div>
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Natalie</div>
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-28736114614831229612013-07-25T17:19:00.001-04:002013-07-25T17:19:32.661-04:00Hello friends!!! <br />
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I'm so very sorry how badly I've neglected to write this summer.. I feel terrible!<br />
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I promise I still plan to keep this blog going and I will write soon.<br />
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We have SO many things going on!<br />
<br />Rick and I just celebrated 10 years of marriage and took a fabulous trip together. (pics to come)<br />
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We hosted another fabulous Vacation Bible School.<br />
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And..... We are moving!!! To the Farmhouse!!! <br />
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We are so excited about the doors the Lord has opened and all of his provision in our lives. He truly is so good. We can't wait to see what else He has in store for us in this new chapter of our lives! =)<br />
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I'm going to start uploading pictures of our summer and also adding the rest of the "Play ball pics" to my last post.<br />
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In the mean time if you would like something to read... Head on over to our "Mom's Blog~ Living on Pb&J" I was the guest poster this week. <br />
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<a href="http://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/unto-the-lord/">http://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/unto-the-lord/</a><br />
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I'm hoping life will slow down soon and I can find more time to do what I love most... write!<br />
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Love and Prayers to you all.<br />
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Much Love,<br />
NatalieNatalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-57011066574167125712013-05-12T17:13:00.001-04:002013-05-12T17:13:48.932-04:00The dash in between...<br />
It's late afternoon on Mother's Day and all my sweet boys are sleeping.. even my big guy. =)<br />
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I laid in my bed for a few minutes watching the wind rustle the tree branches and the leaves outside when I decided to get on my laptop and write.<br />
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Sometimes, I just need to get my fingers on my keyboard and let go.. express my emotions, let go of my thoughts and put them onto paper (or a computer screen I should say. =)<br />
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I made my way to my couch and opened my blinds. I love to be able to see outside. My little dog Lexie sat down beside me on the couch and even she fell asleep. Oh how I wish I could nap some days.<br />
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As I sit here, peering out the window and listening to my rose bushes tap against the windows, I keep remembering something my Pastor mentioned in our service this morning. It is something that spoke to him the first time he heard it, and now it's speaking to me.<br />
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He preached on "What is your life?" He talked about our roles and what we are and of course mentioned being a Mother as we celebrate all things about "Mother's" today. <br />
But he mentioned something that seems to keep echoing through my mind as I sit here in this quiet peaceful house this afternoon...<br />
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He said "When we look at a tombstone we see two things. We see a day of birth and a day of death. They are dates that have much significance, but still they are just dates. What really tells the story about someone is what is done during that dash in between."<br />
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For that dash represents the life and what is done in between those dates is what is remembered.<br />
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I sat there for a minute, my mind immediately rushing to Madeline... For she only had one day of life in between her dash.<br />
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Only one day.<br />
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It made me sad. It just wasn't enough time. <br />
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Oh the dreams and plans I had for her. The memories we would make. The life we would give her.<br />
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But in a day, it was over. She was back with the One who gave her to me.<br />
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Her dash didn't speak of many years but just a day.<br />
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January 7th was that day. <br />
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It was that perfect snowy day that I spent with my daughter surrounded by family and friends. <br />
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It was a day that I watched her Daddy sing to her and brush her hair. <br />
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It was a day that her brothers held her, gave her the passy and fussed over her and called her their "Baby Maddie."<br />
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It was the day that I watched a photographer situate her in her pink and turquoise tutu and I beamed with pride as she photographed and fussed over my sweet baby girl.<br />
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It was just a short time. Just a day in between. <br />
<br />But oh what it's taught me.<br />
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She taught me to have a heart for other's going through trials.<br />
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She taught me to live life and love my family like there is no tomorrow, because there might not be.<br />
<br />She taught me to serve God no mater what, because He loved me so much to give me His Son and that is the greatest sacrifice of all.<br />
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She has taught me so many things.<br />
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And so on this Mother's day as I ponder these things while my babies sleep upstairs, I remember this;<br />
What will my dash in between represent?<br />
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I pray that it will speak of much to many.<br />
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I pray that it will flood others minds with sweet moments and memories with me.<br />
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I pray that it will stand for the One who gave me my eternity in Heaven with my Savior and my loved ones who have gone before.<br />
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I pray that it will lead others to Him.<br />
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Your life doesn't have to be long to be used.<br />
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Maddie Grace's little life has touched so many in her short 40 hours here on earth. I'm proud of my sweet little girl.<br />
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My heart aches today for those whose Mother's have gone on to Heaven. as well as my friends with children in Heaven. This day is not happy and easy for everyone. I ache for those who have not yet had the privilege to be called "Mama" and I pray that they will get to know that blessing.<br />
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For me this is a day of celebration, yes, but it's also a day of remembrance. My sweet children bless my heart so much every single day, but one of them is not present day to day, and for her I ache.<br />
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May today be a beautiful day for you, wherever you are. May you find joy and happiness even amidst the pain. <br />
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Life is a beautiful thing and one day we will all have a dash in between our dates, I just want to encourage you to live out those days to the fullest. Sometimes life is brief, but God is ALWAYS good.<br />
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...In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my life, my strength, my song.<br />
This cornerstone, this solid ground. Firm through the fiercest drought and storm...<br />
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<span>No guilt in life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me<br />From a life's first cry -- to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny. - In Christ alone</span><br />
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<span>Much Love, </span><br />
<span>Natalie</span><br />
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<span>This is a sneak peak at the boys latest photo shoot... MORE to come! =)</span><br />
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<span>Missing my Madeline today and remembering her, today and every day! So thankful she is our little cheerleader in Heaven, always rooting us on! Thank you Maddie for so much. I love you, Momma.</span><br />
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-3528939675716395632013-04-30T14:19:00.000-04:002013-04-30T22:20:20.294-04:00Covered in grace...<br />
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"The secret to figuring out life: All is grace~ Because God's transfiguring all things for His glory." Ann Voscamp<br />
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Life... isn't it beautiful? <br />
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We are given life and everyday we wake up and are blessed with another day to live. <br />
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Another day to breathe. <br />
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Another day to make a difference.<br />
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Some days seem easy and full of happiness. And on others, life seems hard or unfair.<br />
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Yet, at the end of the day, we are still blessed to have had <em>that day.</em><br />
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My days are funny. <br />
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Some days I wake up full of energy with such a zeal for life. I feel like I can take on the world!!!<br />
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Then, other days, I wake up with sadness in my heart and I just pray my way through that day.<br />
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I'm sure many of you have up and down days too. So many things can affect us.<br />
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Yet, I know those hard days are the days when I need the Lord the most. <br />
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I need His grace to cover me. I need his love to carry me. <br />
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That's why I love this quote above... You really can't figure out life... ~All is Grace.<br />
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I don't understand why I'm not able to watch my little girl grow up, but God's grace is covering me as I go through my days without her.<br />
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I don't understand why loved ones get sick or go through hardships, but I do know a God full of grace to help us endure these difficult times.<br />
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What is grace exactly? And how does it relate to me?<br />
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<strong>Grace: </strong>Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people. Unmerited favor...It is simply <em>love</em> and <em>mercy</em> from God. <br />
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That love is for all people.<br />
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Oh how grateful I am for how He loves me. He truly loves me.<br />
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And on days when I truly don't understand life, He gives his mercy.. and grace to help me.<br />
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I don't need a reason for why things are happening or have happened in my life, I just trust in the Lord and let his grace cover me.<br />
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For I know, that in everything he Has a purpose and a plan.<br />
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So on the days when I feel overwhelmed or defeated, I run to Him. I am then able to move forward and use every trial that I face, to bring more glory to Him.<br />
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For at the end of the day, I know my life is not my own, but belongs to Him.<br />
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And everyday I wake up and live, it is a gift. <br />
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Truly a gift of God's grace.<br />
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I find such meaning in this five letter word and it speaks to my heart with much comfort.<br />
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Not my will, but thine be done Lord. Everyday of my life.<br />
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I know what life is about, pointing others to you.<br />
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Thank you for giving me more of a desire to do so, through the trial of my Maddie Grace. She brings me closer to you Lord, every day. I'm so grateful for that.<br />
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Though I wish she were here, I'm thankful that through her passing, I found an even greater relationship with God.<br />
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Thank you Lord for this life I'm living.<br />
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And thank you for your <em>grace</em>. It covers me.<br />
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1 Corinthians 15:10<br />
But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which <em>was bestowed</em> upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. <br />
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Much Love,<br />
Natalie<br />
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The Lord has really been dealing with my heart about something, and I can't wait to share when the time is right. I love that the Lord speaks to me and I pray that some how I can be a help or encouragement to you. If you would like some extra prayer this week, please leave me your request in my comment box. I'd love to pray for you as well on this journey through life. =)<br />
<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-3120057801090272342013-04-11T17:39:00.000-04:002013-04-11T17:39:08.235-04:00What we've been up to....<br />
Hello sweet friends!<br />
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I had a few free moments and I wanted to jump on and post an update about what we've been up to!<br />
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I enjoy sharing things about our sweet family in this space as a way of documenting our lives. This way, I'll always have these moments written down so I can look back at and remember.. I love looking back to my beginning post and seeing just how far the Lord has brought our family. It's truly been amazing the healing and happiness that is ever present in our lives even through heartache.<br />
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We miss Maddie Grace every day but the Lord is doing great things in our family. We feel so blessed.<br />
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As many of you know we purchased 7 1/2 acres of land in the country just across from our Church. We named the land "Amazing Grace Farm" fitting huh? =)<br />
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We've had the land for almost a year now and the goal is to build our dream house there in about 4 more years... but in the mean time we have been taking advantage of all this space. We've been able to host parties and go sledding out there. The boys love to run around and ride their bikes! Rick loves using the land to take the boys out on the four wheeler, dirt bike and golf cart. It's tons of fun. We definitely make great use of all the space and it's been such a blessing. I'm looking forward to planting another garden out there again this year. If anyone has tips, I'd love to hear them!<br />
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Just recently, we took on something else. We decided to renovate the old farmhouse that is there on the land! I definitely questioned it when my Husband suggested it. I just thought it's gonna take a TON of work to do this. And it has. But it's been so neat taking something old and in pitiful shape and turning it into something beautiful again. It's actually really fulfilling! The boys are loving helping with this project and I can't wait to show you our progress as it continues... I'll share some pics soon. The first floor is getting really close to being complete.<br />
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Also, we planned a little getaway for Valentines Day to Great wolf Lodge. It's kind of become a Valentine tradition and all three boys LOVED it. It was a nice time where really fun family memories were made..<br />
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Here's a few pics...<br />
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My Heart breakers on Vday!</div>
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Valentine's Day treats</div>
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So blessed <3</div>
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There was a Maddie Bird on the wolf den.. <3</div>
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My guys at breakfast</div>
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Noah and Jonah</div>
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My three sons <3</div>
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We also had a wonderful Easter and really fun Spring Break with Noah while he was off of school. He's such a joy to have home. I miss him at school during the day..<br />
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Here's us on Easter! =)<br />
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Elijah Braden-5</div>
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Jonah Asher- 15 months</div>
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Noah Riley-7</div>
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My loves!</div>
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Jonah with his basket. =)</div>
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So thankful for our Savior who gave His life for us and that we can </div>
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celebrate Him on Easter!</div>
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Hunting eggs... It was a rainy day here in Ohio so we hunted inside.</div>
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Cousins!</div>
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Happy Easter from the Ross'</div>
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Our sweet family at Amazing Grace Farm. Always thinking of</div>
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and missing our sweet Madeline Grace. <3</div>
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We ended the day smiling and laughing at these silly boys!</div>
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Our boys are happy, healthy and growing up quickly.</div>
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We are loving life!</div>
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Much Love,</div>
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Natalie</div>
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Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4</div>
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-24564067134786068882013-03-25T16:03:00.001-04:002013-03-25T16:03:15.453-04:00Right where you are...<br />
Hello All! I promise I'm still here!! <br />
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Head over to our Moms blog and check out my guest post from today.. Right where you are...<br />
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<a href="http://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/right-where-you-are/">http://livingonpbj.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/right-where-you-are/</a><br />
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Hope it's a blessing!<br />
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I'll update again soon.<br />
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Much Love, <br />
Natalie :)Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-62094685213728893822013-03-04T16:55:00.003-05:002013-03-04T17:00:59.528-05:00Seasoning this world...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There are some things in this life that are just so precious to me.. and as everyone knows one of those things is the birdies.<br />
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The week of Madeline Grace's birthday, I received the sweetest little gift and card in the mail. <br />
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I wanted to take a minute to share just what that was, as it was such a sweet little reminder. <br />
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My sweet friend, Ashley has been such a blessing to me the last few years. <br />
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She has remembered my daughter and gone above and beyond to show me her care for us and the remembrance of Madeline. It has touched my life so much and reminded me just how much of an impact little Maddie Grace has had on this world.<br />
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The day I received the package, I quickly opened it and sat there pondering the things she had written. It really touched my heart and put a smile on my face..<br />
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The card read...<br />
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Dear Maddie (through Natalie and family)<br />
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Happy Birthday to a precious girl! You have reached out to so many people. What a blessing you are.<br />
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I was in a store and saw this little gift that reminded me of you. I thought it an odd gift for a two year old girl, but loved the pink birdies for your Momma.<br />
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My little girl is two and I could see her loving to play with these birdies~ they would doubtlessly be singing or talking to each other. I know you'd love that too!! As I thought more about it, I liked the idea of the salt...<br />
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That's what you are...<br />
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A little salt shaker, seasoning this world with your story and reaching so many.<br />
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The pepper is a strong taste. <br />
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Through your life, your precious family continues to grow stronger. <br />
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Your seasoning will always be on your family and has reached out to so many more.<br />
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Thanking God for you and your sweet family!<br />
<br />
~~Ashley<br />
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Wow... What. a. blessing! What an amazing thought and little treasure God gave to Ashley that she shared with me.<br />
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This touched my heart so much and in so many ways.<br />
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What an honor to have a little girl in Heaven who is still touching and seasoning lives still on this earth.<br />
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There have been countless sweet things said, written, and little reminders given to me weekly since Maddie Grace went to Heaven.<br />
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And I appreciate them all!<br />
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I really thought that when she passed, I would no longer hear her name. <br />
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I would no longer get to experience what a daughter would be like.<br />
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And though I'm not raising her, her sweetness falls down onto my life every week.<br />
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I can feel her. She does have her little shaker out letting it fall into our lives and so many more.<br />
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And I'm proud and full of pride at the way her life has touched so many.<br />
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She<em> is</em> like a little salt shaker, sprinkling the story of God's grace every week into this world<br />
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And the the hard days come, and they still do; we do grow stronger together and in the Lord.<br />
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The first time I read this it blessed me and reminded me of my Maddie.<br />
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When I read it again just before writing this, it encouraged me and gave me a challenge.<br />
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My little girl is seasoning this world for so much good. <br />
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It challenged me to do the same.<br />
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So many in this world need the Lord and I want to help them find Him.. It's all I can do. It's His will for me to go and tell.<br />
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Matthew 28:18-20<br />
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.<br />
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.<br />
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Do you know him? He loves you.<br />
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.<br />
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You do not have to fear death or have questions about what happens after this life ends. For Maddie is proof, it isn't always long...<br />
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Every day that I live I try to do two things... One, I try to be the best at what I am; a wife and a mother.<br />
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And two, try my best to point others to Christ. To help further the kingdom of Heaven.<br />
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My sweet little girl has taught me so many things.<br />
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Ashley, your letter was such a blessing and sweet reminder. Thank you for that.<br />
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I do want our story to reach many. I want Madeline to continue seasoning this earth for the goodness of God and His grace.<br />
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What a precious thing.<br />
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Can I encourage you today to season this world for the good in your life? <br />
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A little seasoning truly can go a long way.<br />
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Much Love,<br />
Natalie<br />
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<span class="versetext" id="col4-5" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">Colossians 4:5 </span><span class="strongs" sn="4043">Walk </span><span class="strongs" sn="1722">in</span> <span class="strongs" sn="4678">wisdom</span> <span class="strongs" sn="4314">toward</span> them that are <span class="strongs" sn="1854">without,</span> <span class="strongs" sn="1805">redeeming</span> the <span class="strongs" sn="2540">time</span></span><span class="versetext" style="display: inline;"><span class="strongs" sn="2540">.</span></span><span class="versetext" id="col4-6" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum"></span></span><br />
<span class="versetext" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum"></span></span><br />
<span class="versetext" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">6</span> Let <span class="strongs" sn="5216">your</span> <span class="strongs" sn="3056">speech</span> be <span class="strongs" sn="3842">alway</span> <span class="strongs" sn="1722">with</span> <span class="strongs" sn="5485">grace,</span> <span class="strongs" sn="741">seasoned</span> with <span class="strongs" sn="217">salt,</span> that ye may <span class="strongs" sn="1492">know </span><span class="strongs" sn="4459">how</span> <span class="strongs" sn="5209">ye</span> <span class="strongs" sn="1163">ought</span> to <span class="strongs" sn="611">answer </span><span class="strongs" sn="1538">every</span> <span class="strongs" sn="1520">man. </span></span><br />
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If you would like me to share more with you about knowing you can go to Heaven for sure, please email me at <a href="mailto:Nattiecakes@msn.com">Nattiecakes@msn.com</a>. I would love to share more with you. =)Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-88352453612830874112013-02-27T16:49:00.001-05:002013-02-27T16:51:00.332-05:00Jonah Asher's one year photo shoot.. =)<br />
Well our little rainbow of hope is now 14 months old and time isn't slowing down at all... <br />
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I had a photo shoot done for him last month and haven't shared the adorable-ness yet. =)<br />
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He's bringing joy to our lives day by day and we just LOVE him to pieces..<br />
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Jonah didn't give us too many smiles for his shoot (poor guy was fighting double ear infections) but he is still adorable as ever.<br />
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He's the sweetest baby boy. What a blessing he is to us!<br />
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Enjoy!!!<br />
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Our little monkey</div>
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He gets kissed... often. =)</div>
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We joked that he looked like he was waiting for a bus. =)</div>
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Peek! </div>
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Sweet smile</div>
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He LOVED the balloons!</div>
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Happy boy!</div>
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This one is my favorite. Love his sweet smirk. Love him.</div>
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Not too sure her.. lol. He looks surprised! </div>
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Kisses anyone? (part of his valentine shoot)</div>
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Sweet boy <3</div>
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Looking dapper.</div>
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I'm ONE!</div>
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Really Mom with the bow ties? =)</div>
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Okay, maybe being one isn't that great. lol</div>
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Sweetness.</div>
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He sure is growing fast, but we are loving every moment!! </div>
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Much Love, </div>
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Natalie</div>
Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-20253256475662099362013-02-25T13:12:00.002-05:002013-02-25T13:12:49.181-05:00Planning, Praising and Praying...<br />
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I'll never forget when my Husband and I were about to get married.. There was so much anticipation and excitement as we were planning for our upcoming marriage. I had the dress, the venue, and the color scheme all picked out. We knew where we were going on our honeymoon. We had a place to live when we returned.. we had everything all planned out. As our day came and went, and we found ourselves the next day, just the two of us.. we giggled both saying "what now?" <br />
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We were just two kids, now married, alone on our honeymoon in another country. We were madly in love with our whole lives ahead of us.. yet we had no idea of what was ahead of us.<br />
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We thought we had our lives all figured out. We would have 2 kids (a boy and girl) and we would live back home after graduating college. Rick would work in the Church and I would teach in the school, we would have our family, we would build our dream home and live happily ever after... =)<br />
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It sure sounded good.<br />
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As the years have passed (almost 10 of them now) I think back to those days from time to time. I look where we are now and I can't help but smile.. We were so young and green back then. Our biggest problem back then was how many days to take for our Honeymoon trip. <br />
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Now that we are fully submerged into our lives of parenthood and the ministry my thoughts back then are just a distant memory, but God has been speaking to me. He's been showing me some things.<br />
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All those plans I had back then... they weren't necessarily Gods plans. <br />
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And as I grow and continue to mature in the Lord, I continue to see just what His plans are in our lives.<br />
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I have to get rid of "my plans" and fully surrender to the Lord. I surrender to His will and His desires in my life, and in doing so.. His desires become mine.<br />
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Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.<br />
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I love that verse.<br />
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So now as my precious Husband and I walk hand in hand together through this life all these years later, we can look back.. Our plans have change to praises.<br />
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We can praise God when he carried us through some of the valleys in our lives...<br />
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Like for the hard times He brought us through when we were fresh out of Bible college with a brand new baby. We were really struggling to make ends meet on his income from the Church alone.<br />
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During the time when his second job and business went under, and we had just given birth to our second son, and again we were so scared of how we would make it and pay our mortgage and bills on time.<br />
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We look back to the day that we had an ultrasound for our 3 month old baby and we heard no heartbeat. And within days of that we came home to our home flooded and the insurance company applied no coverage and called it an "act of God"..<br />
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And then during our most recent valley... When the Lord blessed our heart's desire with a little girl, and we felt like we couldn't ask Him for one more thing... until He called her back home just two short days later...<br />
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We all have trials and hardships we face in life, and these were the hardest of ours.<br />
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Yet, some of the hardest times in our marriage and the situations that cause some families to part ways, God carried us through. And we praise Him for that.<br />
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He provided His grace, strength and hope each day to help us through.. He has taught us through each of these trials and we learned to fully lean on Him. <br />
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Whatever He chooses to bring our way, we continue to praise Him. How could we not? He is the one who gives us all we have. He is the one who has blessed us with all the good things.<br />
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Ultimately, every trial He allows us to walk through is meant to bring us closer to Him.<br />
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I'm so glad to know this. <br />
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God loves me. He truly does..<br />
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And everything in my life is drawing me closer to Him.<br />
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I'm so grateful that He speaks to me and lays things on my heart. I praise Him for it.<br />
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The other thing that He has been dealing with me on, is my prayer life...<br />
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Our "planning" that we used to do has definitely started changing to praying.. I think my Husband has always been better about doing this than me.. Since I didn't start going to Church and get saved until I was 16, it wasn't something that was ingrained in me the way it was in Him. I have to work really hard at my prayer life. <br />
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Really hard. <br />
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And some days my sweet Rick has to remind me to stop planning so much and start praying about the things on our hearts.<br />
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It's one of my downfalls for sure, and I'm asking God daily to help me to just trust and fully surrender to His plans for me. This is most definitely easier said than done in my life.<br />
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So, we began praying that God would carry us, guide us, and help us to make the right decisions according to His plans.<br />
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Sometimes you don't realize your prayer life is lacking until you face the greatest heart ache of you existence... and <em>all you can</em> do is look <em>up</em>. <br />
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For me, this was the case.<br />
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When it hurt to take a breath every day and the tears didn't seem to ever end. <br />
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I looked to Him and He was there to comfort me. He was there to carry me. <br />
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I cried to Him in prayer and He comforted me with His word. Oh how this has helped my hurting soul.<br />
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Prayer wasn't something we just "chose" to do.. It was something we "had" to do. <br />
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We needed God everyday.<br />
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We needed a touch from the Master's hand. We needed advice from our Father... <br />
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We still do. <br />
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Every. Day.<br />
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Prayer is so important. ~That's how we talk to God.<br />
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But it goes a step further... One of the ways God talks to us is through His Word. The Bible.<br />
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If we aren't reading His word.. It's like we are talking into a phone to God in prayer but when He tries to call us and gives us guidance or an answer... We don't answer. We don't pick up.<br />
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We have to pick up His word and read it. He wants to speak to us. Daily.<br />
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He has so much in store for us!<br />
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I'm sure 10 more years from now I'll look back to where I am now and be glad how much further I am in this journey of life. And as my heart ponders on the things I've been through, I truly believe I can face much of what is to come.. with God's help.<br />
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We can truly face anything this life has to bring if we walk through it with the Lord. He's there.<br />
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How is your heart today?<br />
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Have your plans fallen through?<br />
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Are you praising the Lord, even during the valleys?<br />
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How is your prayer life?<br />
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These are things we can all work on. We truly "should" be working on to better our selves as Christians and become more Christ like.<br />
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It's a daily straggle, and Satan wants us to fail, but with God's help we can do anything. <br />
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I'm trusting now in His plans, and I hope to praise the Lord and be faithful to Him in prayer... daily.<br />
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I hope this was a little bit of encouragement for you! We are all in this together! <br />
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God is good!!<br />
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Psalms 16:11 You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.<br />
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Much Love to you!<br />
<br />
Natalie<br />
<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-80844091710291486412013-02-18T17:15:00.000-05:002013-02-18T17:40:23.033-05:00Birthdays, Blessings and the Birds....January and some of February has come and gone, and my heart is finally feeling much peace and hope again. I feel I can now fully move forward with my year after struggling through these beginning months. I imagine as the years go by, it will get a little lighter and I pray so, as my heart still aches for and misses my sweet girl. Yet through it all, God is good and His blessings continue to be abundant every single day of our lives. <br />
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We have been so very busy with many things going on and I feel terrible I have neglected this blog so greatly. I am hoping to find time to write again soon. I really miss writing...<br />
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But, among the busyness of our lives, we always seem to find time to stop and celebrate sweet moments in life. Just recently we have celebrated both our younger sons birthdays, and my 30th birthday as well.<br />
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As my birthday approached this year and I've now entered a new decade of life, my heart has pondered so many things. What a journey it's been. I promise to share about my birthday and our fabulous trip to NYC soon, but I still owe you some birthday pics from Jonah's and Eli's party!!<br />
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I've talked so much this last year about our little birdie boy, Jonah Asher. And planning Jonah's 1st birthday was another huge step in healing for me.<br />
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This party was such a blessing to throw and with every project I worked on to prepare, I found myself thanking God over and over again for the lives of my children and the opportunity to celebrate them.<br />
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Since Elijah and Jonah's birthdays are only 4 days apart, we decided to have their birthdays together in early December before the rush of the holidays.<br />
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It was such a sweet day!<br />
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Both the boys reached big birthday milestones this year as Jonah turned one and Elijah turned five. What a blessing both of these little boys are to my heart and in my life.<br />
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Since I've never had the opportunity to throw Maddie Grace's 1st birthday, I think I poured even more of my heart and soul into this one. I started pinning and planning from the time Jonah was like 2 months old. =) I really do love throwing party's, it's definitely one of my passions in life.<br />
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In preparing, I knew I wanted to go off of Jonah's nursery theme and throw a Forest friends party. I wanted to also somehow incorporate Madeline into the party. I just felt like she should have a part in it. =) It all really came together turned out perfectly.<br />
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We decided on a Boys are a Hoot/Forest friends party. And with it being winter and so beautiful out we made a special Winter woodland "One"derland room for Jonah Bear. It was so special.<br />
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We had the party at my Mom and Dad's big beautiful home in the country where there was tons of space to celebrate.<br />
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As I prepared and worked for days, I just found myself finding happiness and peace in this day and in this party. It was very healing for me.<br />
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I worked and worked along side some good friends and my family to turn their home into a Forest Friends winter wonderland. It was beautiful.<br />
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But, the best part of it all... was the <em>joy</em> on the faces of my sweet little boys. They were both so happy. So excited!<br />
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It truly was a blessing to see and experience. <br />
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I have so many pictures to share and I think they can best describe the day, but just before I do, I want to share the special way Maddie made her presence at the party...<br />
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Just as the party time arrived and the guests were beginning to pull in, I ran to my van to touch up my makeup.<br />
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My parents home is surrounded by trees and as I walked out onto their porch, I was stopped dead in my tracks.<br />
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The noise caught my attention first.<br />
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The most beautiful noise I had heard all day.<br />
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It was hundreds and thousands of birds! They were all chirping and singing sweetly in the trees.<br />
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My eyes wandered to the right as I scanned the tree line...<br />
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They were everywhere! They were flying and hopping and landing in the treetops.<br />
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The front field was filled with them too. I watched as waves of them swooped across the land as they played with each other and hopped happily about.<br />
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I walked to my van and watched them soaring over head.<br />
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It was such a sight.<br />
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I sat in my van to put on my makeup but I couldn't keep my eyes off of them.<br />
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I felt like Maddie Grace was there. <br />
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She was smiling down on this day wishing her big and little brother the best birthday. And she was.<br />
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I gathered myself and went inside with the biggest smile on my face.<br />
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I found Rick and told him Maddie was with us. He went outside to see.<br />
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What a blessing that when I least expect it, God gives us those sweet little hugs and gifts of peace. This time it was through all those Maddie's birds. It truly was a blessing.<br />
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Enjoy..<br />
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These sweet Maddie birds were all around.. So sweet!</div>
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Welcome to the party!!!</div>
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Forest friend ears =)</div>
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Elijah Braden is 5!!!</div>
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Woodland mantle</div>
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All of the boys favorite forest friends came.</div>
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Woodland Dining room</div>
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Jonah's cake</div>
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Eli's cake</div>
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Forest friends cupcakes!!</div>
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Owl, Bear and Hedgehog cake pops!!</div>
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Little owl Treat table</div>
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Ornament candy keepsakes for the kids!</div>
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Boys are a Hoot treat bags!</div>
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Mason Jar drinks</div>
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Jonah Bear Cupcakes</div>
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"Hoot" chocolate station</div>
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Loved making thes fun lanterns!!</div>
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Jonah's "Onederland" table.. </div>
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Jonah's baby book</div>
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A beautiful album online. I loved that it matched his theme. =)</div>
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This says "Winter Woodland Onederland"</div>
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Just had to post a pic of my Mom's pretty tree =)</div>
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The kiddos posing in their forest friends ears =)</div>
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Jonah Bear Picnic =)</div>
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The babies loved the mushroom play tent =)</div>
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Holding my sweet "ONE" year old =)</div>
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Me and my big 5 year old!!</div>
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Everyone loved the jar drinks! </div>
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Entering Eli's Enchanted forest...</div>
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Eli's archery!!</div>
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He was pretty good!</div>
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Forest friends masks</div>
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Raccoon picture frames</div>
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The cutest little game..</div>
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I was gonna read this by the fire... but it was strangely warm that day so we never lit the fire.. Jonah loves the puppets! =)</div>
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Pinata time!</div>
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Even the adults had fun!! </div>
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Time for cake!!!</div>
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Rick smashed Eli's face.. lol</div>
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He was a fan =)</div>
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Everyone loved all the treats while Jonah enjoyed his cake!! =)</div>
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The aftermath... lol</div>
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And after a quick bath and an outfit change...</div>
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My little Jonah Bear was ready for presents! </div>
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He loved his bear rocker!</div>
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And his puppy walker!</div>
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But my most favorite gift was the beautiful quilt Mrs. BJ made...</div>
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And look who she incorporated into the quilt... <3</div>
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My sweet girl.. miss her so.</div>
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What a great party... Everywhere I looked I saw smiling faces. </div>
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We truly are so blessed!!</div>
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I'm so grateful my sweet boys both had such a great party.</div>
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We are so blessed to be able to celebrate a/another year of life with our sweet boys.</div>
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I'll never forget this sweet day. What a wonderful year with my boys. <3</div>
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I sure am grateful for many things, and I try to find happiness daily, but today I'm really grateful for </div>
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Birthdays, God's blessings... and the birds. =) It's the little things in life that truly do mean the most! =)</div>
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Much Love,</div>
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Natalie</div>
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-21354138980962561602013-01-04T16:59:00.000-05:002013-01-04T17:05:42.508-05:00Two years... Dear Maddie GraceDear Maddie Grace,<br />
<br />
Two years? <br />
<br />
Has it really been that long...<br />
<br />
Two years without you.<br />
<br />
It's hard to fathom.<br />
<br />
My mind races back to the moment they placed you on my chest. <br />
<br />
I remember your flushed cheeks. I remember your full head of curly black hair. I remember looking to "make sure" you were a girl. =)<br />
<br />
It almost hurts to go back there. <br />
<br />
To that moment when my dream came true and my daughter was born. I still can't believe I had you. <br />
<br />
You were perfect.<br />
<br />
Our time together was too.<br />
<br />
Our perfect snowy day together on the 7th of January.. I'll never forget that day. With every snow fall we receive I remember. I go back.<br />
<br />
I feel like I've been stronger this year. Much stronger than last.<br />
<br />
But as it's almost your birthday and the memories of you flood through my memory and the pictures of you are filling my news feed, I feel my strength slipping.<br />
<br />
You weren't just a dream. You were real.<br />
<br />
I vividly remember nursing you and holding you.. I loved to stroke your cheek. <br />
<br />
I loved to brush your hair and change your hair bows or hat almost every hour. <br />
<br />
I loved showing you off and letting everyone else fall in love with the little girl I had all to myself for 10 months. <br />
<br />
I loved watching you stretch and lifting you to my shoulder. Your sweet fuzzy hair seemed to kiss my cheek as I felt you snuggle up to me. <br />
<br />
I can feel it, Maddie. I can feel you still.<br />
<br />
But as time is passing, I'm scared these memories I only have of our two days together will fade away. I never want to forget...What if felt like to hold you, this 6lb 10 oz bundle of pink in my arms. <br />
<br />
You were so fulfilling.<br />
<br />
When I held you, I felt like my world was at peace. <br />
<br />
Seeing your brothers fuss over you was so amazing. The love I saw in their eyes for you tugged at my heart. You added the perfect touch of femininity to our family. <br />
<br />
We had so many plans and dreams for you... and then in a breath, you were gone.<br />
<br />
I still find myself trying to understand. But I trust God and I know He loves me.<br />
<br />
Yet I find myself longing to know so many things....<br />
<br />
How you would interact with the big brothers who wanted you so much?<br />
<br />
How much you would have your daddy wrapped around your finger?<br />
<br />
What you would look like and who you would act like?<br />
<br />
Would you have been girly like me? Would you love sparkles and pink and baby dolls?<br />
<br />
If only I could know.<br />
<br />
The perfect family I thought "was" faded away the day God called you home. <br />
<br />
Oh how my heart aches for you. My arms long to hold you.<br />
<br />
This Christmas I missed you the most. Turning 2, you would be at such a fun age. I can't even imagine the fun we would be having together. <br />
<br />
Sometimes I still dream we will experience some of the things I thought of during my pregnancy with you. But the dream becomes a reality when I see our family photograph without you present.<br />
<br />
I wish I could ask God why.. I wish He could give me His eyes so I could see. I wish I could have kept you...<br />
<br />
I do feel like God does answer my "whys" in many ways and that does help...<br />
<br />
This is how I know...<br />
<br />
Every time your little story is told and another soul accepts Christ.<br />
<br />
Every time a grieving mother is sent to me or my blog for prayer and advice.<br />
<br />
Every time I think about how much "better" of a person I am because of you.<br />
<br />
I know your purpose was meant to be accomplished in two days. I know that. But I still long for more.<br />
<br />
More time.<br />
<br />
To look at you and kiss you. To study your sweet newborn skin and hold your warm body to mine.<br />
<br />
And though I'm grateful to have had 10 months and 2 days with you, I'll always want more.<br />
<br />
Oh Maddie, I miss you. <br />
<br />
I'm so grateful God sent us your little brother and now I can't imagine life without him... but you could never be replaced. <br />
<br />
God just sent us him as a reinforcement of his love. Could you tell Him thank you? We are so grateful.<br />
<br />
But could you ask Him to comfort my heart as I'm crying out for you my sweet girl. I miss you in a way that words can't comfort. Only through the arms of a Father.<br />
<br />
I find myself finding peace in the pink sunsets, bird and snow filled skies and pictures of castles and crowns. I'm grateful for little reminders that remind me that you were and are my daughter. <br />
<br />
It seems everywhere I look, I see you. I see us together. <br />
<br />
I wish it were so.<br />
<br />
I know that there are parents who have lost children after years and year of love. My heart hurts for them, because I felt the greatest love I've known in just two days with you. <br />
<br />
You changed me, Madeline. In so many ways.<br />
<br />
I know as your birthday and angel day passes, this won't feel so heavy. I know that time will keep moving forward as it always does and I will be okay. But for today, I'm hurting. I'm missing.<br />
<br />
My heart feels so heavy it's hard to breathe.<br />
<br />
I love you. <br />
<br />
I love you and I miss you in a way that words can't write.<br />
<br />
Do you know sweet girl how much you've changed this world for the better? For eternity?<br />
<br />
God is doing great things Maddie Grace. He's using you... and somehow, He's using me.<br />
<br />
I'm trembling, and my eyes are filled with tears as I type this.. <br />
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But am I making you proud, Maddie?<br />
<br />
Oh how I strive to.<br />
<br />
My purpose now is even greater. As a Christian, as a mother, as a wife and as a friend.<br />
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I'm so glad sweet girl you know no pain. Because the way I miss you is just too much.<br />
<br />
I think of the pain God went through when He gave His Son for us and the world turned their back.<br />
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I think of the love Jesus had when He died for me. There is truly no greater love. And you are with them...<br />
<br />
But you know don't you sweet girl? You know those stories from the mouth of our Creator. <br />
<br />
From the mouth of our Savior, don't you?<br />
<br />
Oh if my eyes could see what you see. If my ears could hear what you hear...<br />
<br />
They will one day.<br />
<br />
I could write to you for hours but I will close with this.<br />
<br />
You've touched my life in a way that no one else has sweet Maddie Grace. There will always be a part of my heart there in Heaven with you. <br />
<br />
I'm broken Maddie. <br />
<br />
I have been since you went to Heaven, but one thing I've learned is that out of brokenness can come much beauty. You've shown me that.<br />
<br />
Please ask God to continue to help me, Maddie. To continue to provide strength. <br />
<br />
I know He will as I pray to Him. I think I just need a little extra help this week, because the burden of missing you is to heavy to bear alone.<br />
<br />
I don't know when we will be together again sweet girl, but I know we will. And then maybe we can spin together in our beautiful dresses. Maybe then we can have tea parties inside of our mansions. And maybe.. instead of wearing them, we can cast all those beautiful crowns at the feet of Jesus. <br />
<br />
Oh baby girl, how I ache for that day.<br />
<br />
I miss you. <br />
<br />
As the boys say it...<br />
<br />
I love you... Up to (you) Maddie and back...<br />
<br />
Happy 2nd Birthday Baby girl!<br />
<br />
I love you,<br />
Mommy<br />
<br />
2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made
perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is just a piece of my heart today. I still have the boys party to share (that blog is already complete) and I will soon. I just don't have the strength to today I felt like talking to Maddie. If you would pray for me, it would mean so much. My heart is heavy but my God is big. <br />
<br />
Thank you for walking with me. Thank you.<br />
<br />
Much Love, <br />
Natalie<br />
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<br />Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-1173885704922878892012-12-10T22:42:00.000-05:002012-12-13T16:25:02.212-05:00A year of hope...<br />
He who has health, has hope: and he who has hope, has everything.<br />
~Thomas Carlyle<br />
<br />
My heart is full of love as I sit here and ponder the last few weeks.<br />
<br />
We have celebrated our little boy!<br />
<br />
On December the 8th, our sweet little Jonah Asher turned one year old.<br />
<br />
Part of me can't believe he's now one, but the other part of me couldn't be happier.<br />
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I've dreamed, planned, prepared and worked for months to get his birthday party together, and I couldn't be more happy with how everything turned out.<br />
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It truly was the PERFECT day. Even Maddie was there. (future blog :)<br />
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With every project I worked on and every item I purchased, I smiled.<br />
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And with it, my favorite little word seemed to whisper through my ears... hope....<br />
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What a beautiful year it's been.<br />
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A year of firsts.<br />
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A year of healing.<br />
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A year of love.<br />
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A year of hope.<br />
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With each milestone, with each holiday, with each family moment; God restored it, our hope.<br />
<br />
What a journey it's been. <br />
<br />
From the moment I found out he was coming... To the day we heard "It's a boy"... and then to the moment they placed him on my chest.<br />
<br />
As I reminisced back to the delivery room the moment I met him, held him... <br />
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I knew. <br />
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A peace came over me that can't be manufactured. God gave me this child for a purpose.<br />
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This little boy would help to heal me. And he has, one day at a time.<br />
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Each of these moments were God giving me a little nudge, a little hug saying "It's going to be okay."<br />
<br />
From changing Madeline's nursery over to picking out a "bird" name to honor her, everything worked perfectly and fell into place. When I thought I couldn't do it, I couldn't go on, God reminded me I could.<br />
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Day by day, month by month, Jonah helped to carry us. All of us.<br />
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He was providing new hope and love day in and day out.<br />
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And when the hard days came, he was there. He filled our aching arms with love and our sad hearts with joy.<br />
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God knew we needed him. God wanted him here. <br />
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I can't imagine life with out our little Jonah Bear.<br />
<br />
I am so grateful to God that He gave our family this little blessing.<br />
<br />
Our sweet Jonah Asher, our love for you can't be measured. You have provided something we never expected to find or feel again. You are so very special sweet boy. and we love you dearly.<br />
<br />
Thank you for blessing us with a year of hope. You will forever be our special rainbow, and we are <em>so glad</em> God sent you to us during our greatest storm of our lives.<br />
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We love you sweet boy, Happy 1st Birthday!!!<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Romans 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.</span><br />
<br />
Much love,<br />
Natalie<br />
<br />
<br />
Please enjoy this beautiful video Rick put together for Jonah Asher.<br />
<br />
Enjoy! And stayed tuned for party pics and a sweet story about Maddie Grace and the party. <3<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/tSELYJYZHcQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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And this is a link to the photo/baby book I made. Love it!<br />
<a href="http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/interests/boy-oh-boy-7765259?vk=DQ5jtIuFPa">http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/interests/boy-oh-boy-7765259?vk=DQ5jtIuFPa</a>Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5976308102785818520.post-72748222938051987022012-11-12T20:37:00.000-05:002012-11-12T20:37:06.794-05:00Our fall... in pictures....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What a wonderful fall we are having! </div>
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Enjoy =)</div>
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Halloween Nights at Sharon woods...</div>
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Pumpkin carving...</div>
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Rick teaching the boys the parable of the sower</div>
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and the seed..</div>
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Trunk or Treat at Church...</div>
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Jonah at the "Whosoever" table..</div>
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My sweet little owl in his nest.</div>
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My little Buzz..</div>
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Some body's trying to walk. =)</div>
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Being silly with Mario...</div>
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Having fun at Kings Island!</div>
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My sweet little Buzz and Woody!</div>
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The Pumpkin Barn..</div>
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The cutest pumpkin in the patch!</div>
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Sparkle pumpkins!</div>
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My little pumpkin pie...</div>
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Fall Party at Amazing Grace Farm...</div>
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Well we are definitely keeping busy and having fun enjoying life and </div>
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our precious little boys..</div>
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And of course we've been enjoying all those pink skies for Maddie Grace...</div>
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We miss you sweet girl. Every. Day. <3</div>
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I hope all of you are enjoying some fall fun as well!</div>
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We are looking so forward to the holidays, and I'm in planning mode for </div>
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Jonah and Elijah's birthdays! I can</div>
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hardly wait to share all my fun party ideas. </div>
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I also have had some things on my heart that I will get back on and share</div>
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about soon... as soon as the time allows. =) God Bless!</div>
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Much love to you all!</div>
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Natalie</div>
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Natalie Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06706386424349094696noreply@blogger.com9