As I sat down to write today I realized that this is my 100th post.
100 posts since I started this blog on January the 25th. Just 3 short weeks after my sweet Madeline Grace went to be with Jesus.
I can remember so vividly writing that very first entry. My hands were shaking. My body was week. My heart was broken.
I wasn't sure where to start, so I started at the beginning.
I spoke of how I used to write but then when I got saved, I felt like the Lord became my outlet. I went to Him with my thoughts and fears. I went to Him with my wants and desires. I lost my passion for writing as He had become my passion.
Then, when Maddie Grace went to be with Jesus, I quickly realized that I needed another place to take my thoughts and feelings. God laid it on my heart to start writing again.
Boy am I glad that I did.
I look back over the entries of the last 7 months and I see something that reoccurs in every single post.
I see strength and grace.
God supplied me over and over and over again everyday, with the strength and grace to get through.
In the moments when I felt I couldn't possibly take another step forward. He held my hand and helped me.
In the moments when I truly couldn't take that step. He carried me.
He gave me a voice here in these entries. He gave me a story to tell.
And you... You have listened. You have cried. You have hurt. You have poured your heart out to me and for me.
What a blessing.
I can't believe how far I've come in these last 100 entries.
I like to go back and see and feel exactly where I was, and I know that I am here now, because of the Lord and because of all of you.
You have helped carry me. You have helped bear the load.
Never did I think that God would give me a ministry through my words here. But he has.
And He has also given me a place to be ministered to.
So many of you have walked in my shoes. So many of you know just how heavy the load is, yet you help to bear mine. Day in and day out.
And those of you who haven't experienced the loss of a child, but just have such a heart for others. Your prayers have held me up. Your words have given me hope.
I don't know where I would be today without my Loving God, Husband and all of you.
But I know for sure, that I wouldn't be as strong as I am now.
I love to write. I will keep writing. I will always tell Maddie's story, and what she is doing in our lives.
Even as the years go by, I will still talk of her. She has made me who I am today. She has given me a story to tell. She has given me a job to do.
Years down the road, she will still be a part of my family. Your family. Her little life has touched so many hearts and for that I am grateful.
But I am also grateful that I have this place to come to. To pour out my heart. To speak of my families burdens and heartache.
Wow. And over 100,000 pageviews. God has worked in an amazing way here.
I'm grateful God sent me here to write our story. And I'm grateful for those of you who follow along.
I am stronger because of my words here. And because of you.
And like I said at the end of my very first post on that cold dark January day...
I will keep writing... For my daughter... And for my Lord.
2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.