Happiness and healing...

Yesterday was a very sweet and healing day for our family.

We woke up to a surprise, lots of unexpected Maddie kisses (snow) from our girl!! It was beautiful. The farm looked like a winter wonderland covered in snow and icicles.. I couldn't help but smile and feel like Madeline was smiling down on us on this special day.

We planned to take the boys out of school that day because we had something very special planned for them. They were getting to go with us to my 20 week ultrasound and take a peek at their little sister. <3 But luckily, they had a snow day!!

We excitedly got ready and headed to the hospital.

I heard them talking and giggling in the backseat and my heart smiled.

Some days when I look into my older boys eyes I feel sorry for them.

All the things they were missing out on with not having their baby sister grow up with them broke my heart... I watch them with their baby girl cousins... They are so gentle, so loving.

I watch them with Jonah and I just know that they would have been great with Madeline.

But that just wasn't meant to be. God had other plans for her little life. <3

But today, today was a hopeful day that they would get that opportunity again.

And I do truly believe they will.

We piled into the room and began the ultrasound.. I couldn't help but let my mind race back to each time I was here with the three little ones that surrounded me.. and the one who wasn't there.

What a blessing these children are to me. What love the Lord has blessed me with. He has given us an overabundance of love through each of our sweet babies and we are forever grateful.

We watched our sweet girl and this time instead of being fixed on the screen.. I looked around at all of my boys faces. I watched the nurse point out things and I watched the boys get excited. It was precious.

Seeing Emmaline's little profile made me cry. She is so beautiful.

It was just a reminded that God truly does give such beauty through the storm.

I miss Madeline. I miss her every day. And as her 3rd birthday approaches, I miss her even more.

But there is just something special about our little Emmaline. And I have a feeling that Maddie has some help in picking her out just for us.

Our little bunny.

God gave me one girl with wings, and the other with feet that I hope stay planted on this earth here with us.

He is so gracious and full of mercy. Every day.

Here are a few sweet moments from yesterday...

My sweet boy... We were here two years ago having him. And now

we are returning to see his little sister. <3 We are so thankful.

 

This statue has given me peace through many appointments starting with my pregnancy with Maddie Grace. I just love this little girl holding this little dove. <3

 

Sweet smiles from some sweet little boys!

 

Noah and Elijah were so excited to see Emmaline on T.V. =)

 

Little Jonah wasn't really cooperating with the camera that morning.

Although I did catch him giving Daddy a little pout. =)

 

So happy!

Yay for a baby sister!!

 

My Mom gave me this pink scarf and made me take a picture. =)

I still can't believe God is giving me another little girl.

 I feel so blessed.

 

Meet Emmaline Mercy

 

Oh sweet girl... Do you know how loved you are?

Do you know how much of a blessing you are to this family?

We can't wait to meet you... this little girl who is continuing to heal our hearts so much. <3

 

Much Love,

Natalie

 

 

Our story of mercy... We are having a... =)

I'm still in tears as I type this today.. thanking God and praising Him for His grace and mercy on Rick and I. He truly is so faithful.

It's been two weeks but I'm still in awe as I sit here and feel my little "girl" kicking and hopping about in my belly.. Yes, he has blessed us with another little girl!!!!

We are so thrilled and we have a pretty strong feeling, we will get to watch this one grow up!!!! =) This one I truly believe, we will keep.

God is so good.

November the 10th, Rick and I walked very anxiously into our gender ultrasound, fully trusting God heard our cries for mercy... And He did.

He provided.

He answered. =)

I sat there holding my precious Rick's hand as I heard the words we had prayed so hard for... "It's a GIRL!"....

A little girl.

Tears instantly came.

Praises were shouted; and it was there we watched our precious daughter moving all around the ultrasound screen. She kicked her little legs, stretched her little arms and wiggled all around. She was perfect. She is perfect

I looked over to the love of my life and watched the smile that was upon his face grow.. I felt in that moment, that God gave me so much of what I asked for..

More than for myself, I wanted this for Rick. And God gave him just that.

In the next few moments I just took it all in.. I listened to our tech say "she" and "her" and I felt like I was in Heaven.. I remember feeling just like this when we found out Madeline was a girl.. it felt so good. So healing.

Rick and I left that day with the biggest smiles on our faces. I think we both got to the car and screamed! We were so happy.

We both truly believed God was blessing us with another daughter, but hearing it and seeing her made it so real. He truly gave us what we asked for.

He is so full of mercy.

We went to lunch that afternoon and just sat there in tears, praising God and thinking how happy the boys would be when we told them. For they had prayed for this too. <3

After lunch we went shopping for our sweet girl to pick out the first few special things from just us. It's a tradition after each gender ultrasound appointment.

We both were in search of the "perfect" thing.. and we were filled with delight as we peeked through racks of pink to find just that.

Pink!

Did I say... pink? =)

This Momma of three boys has never been happier to fill a cart full of pink items. I still can't believe it. God is so good.

As we drove home to pick up our boys that afternoon, Rick and I sat in silence (our minds filled the events that had just taken place) and we listened to the music playing. I looked over at him as we traveled down the road.. He smiled and reached for my hand.

It was a perfect day.

PERFECT.

Our hearts were overflowing.

We quickly put together a gender reveal party and invited over our sweet families to tell them the good news. I'll never forget the looks on some of their faces. The hugs, the smiles... the tears... This baby continues to heal all of us.

God has sent us another reinforcement to His plan.

Oh my He has had a plan with our lives.. I often tell Rick... I just LOVE the story God is writing with our lives. He truly had a plan..

And even though we didn't see it then, on the saddest day of our lives... His hand is unfolding it to us now.. day by day...

Oh how we have been celebrating our sweet little one on the way...

Our bunny baby... Our Mercy girl...

Her name will be...

Emmaline Mercy

Emmaline means whole and entire.

Mercy means something which to be thankful for.. a blessing.

God couldn't have led us to a more perfect name for our sweet girl.

He has been speaking to me about "mercy" for over a year now and I truly knew that would be our next baby girls middle name. I felt like every time I read a verse about mercy or heard a song with mercy, God was whispering to me... just wait... She's coming... Be patient.

She was worth the wait.

I will always speak of my Madeline Grace. I will always wonder who she would be today. I will always look at Emmaline once she arrives and wonder how much they would've loved each other.. But I know He had a plan.

God is so full of grace and mercy..

We do not deserve anything but yet He's blessed us SO much.

Oh how grateful we are. We can't wait to meet her. <3

Just before the reveal...

It's a.........

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SO HAPPY!

 

 

 

 

 

Cute table

Bow ties or tutu's??

So fun!!

 

I'm loving Rick's "surprised" face... haha

 

He's going to be a great big brother!

Lexie Lu sporting her tiara and tutu

 

For this child we prayed... and God heard our cry! So grateful for our sweet Emmaline on the way!!!

 

 

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; Psalm 103:17

Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly filled with contempt. Psalm 123:2

Who remembered us in our low estate: for his mercy endureth for ever: Psalm 136:23

The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day: 2 Timothy 1:18

Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3

Thank you for rejoicing with us!!
Much love,
Natalie <3

Our family is growing!!! =)

We are so excited and thrilled to announce that we have another baby on the way!! Yes, we are adding a new pumpkin to the Ross pumpkin patch. =)

I am currently 12 weeks along and the baby is due next spring on April the 27th.

How I told Rick. =)

 

This has most definitely been the hardest secret to keep out of all of them!! Baby number 5 seems to be popping out much quicker than the rest..  but it's totally worth it. I'm so happy. =)

 

 

 

God has truly been so good to our family. His grace and mercy is always abundantly showing in our lives. We feel so very honored for the opportunity for our family to be growing with one more child! Our boys are over the moon excited and can't wait for the baby to get here.

The pregnancy is going great so far other than me being extremely sick with this one. It's definitely the sickest I've been in a pregnancy but I'm taking it one day at a time and remaining thankful.

We will be finding out the sex of the baby in about 6 weeks and we can not wait... I'm so anxious to see if we will be able to raise a daughter, or another son. I have so many stories and blessings to share about this little one on the way. God has been showing me some really neat things.. similar to Jonah's pregnancy. He/She has already blessed my heart so much. God truly is so good.

Other than our pregnancy, we have been busy! We are now almost all moved into the farmhouse and we just returned from a wonderful family vacation/cruise to the Bahamas.. I hope to update some pictures from this past summer and of the new house as soon as I'm feeling a little better.

Thank you for following our story. I'm so grateful that our precious Maddie Grace is ever present here in our lives even though it's been almost 3 years since the Lord called her home. I can't help but look at little Jonah and think of this little baby and smile... for they would not have been here. God truly does have a plan. We may not understand it at the time, but over time, He will reveal it to us little by little. And one day when we reach Heaven, we will truly understand.

Maddie's ministry is growing and going so strong and I'm so excited that her little life continues to touch others. We continue to look forward to the ways God will use her story to impact this world for Heaven. It's so special.

Please pray for us and our new little one. We believe God has great things planned, and we can't wait to find out!!!!

Thank you for rejoicing with us!

Much Love,
Natalie

Eli goes to Kindergarten...

Well today was a big day for us.. We sent our "little boy in the middle" off to school!

Elijah Braden (my big 5 1/2 year old) started Kindergarten today. I really can't believe it to be honest.

It still feels like yesterday I was in the hospital having him, and now he's school age! As the saying goes, "don't blink, it goes by fast," I now realize, I am in total agreement with that.

I wonder if this little boy knows how much he has helped heal my heart?

When Maddie Grace passed away, Eli was my little encourager at home. Noah was in Kindergarten at the time and I just don't know what I would have done without having my little Eli around.

He gave me so much purpose during the day when all I wanted to do was crawl up in my bed and cry. He would jump in my lap, tell me he loves me and would ask me to read him a book. Those moments with him will always hold a special place in my heart. My little boys have truly helped me through missing my little girl. When it ached so much and I wanted was to hold her; I would hold them.

Making Eli's little lunches and watching his face light up in excitement over simple every day things, gave me peace. God knew I needed my my Eli Bear to help me through the quiet moments of thought, because if you know him you know there is nothing quiet about him. =) I loved his distractions.

So, as I packed his lunch yesterday, I thought to myself, it has come.

This moment where I let go of his hand and send him off to someone else, has come.

I watched him this morning with a joy filled face as he skipped up the stairs to discover his new classroom.

I watched as he hung his little book bag up on the hook marked with his name.

I watched as he chatted among the other students and I thought to myself "I did it."  "We did it"...

One more of our little birdies has lifted off safely from the nest.

After 5 and a half years by his Mama's side... He's ready to take flight. 

It may only be a short flight today... like until noon. =) But it's still a big one for us.

I saw so many things in his happy little face this morning. But mostly, I saw contentment.

There comes a point in every Mama's life where we have to find contentment in right where we are.

I am so very sad that Eli won't be by my side all day long anymore, but at the same time; I'm thrilled!

We made it to Kindergarten.

He's happy and so... that makes me happy.

I can't even imagine the joy that lies ahead for our little Elijah Braden.

The new experiences, the knowledge he will gain in his elementary years; It tickles my heart.

I'm just so grateful that for the last five years of his life, he's been all mine.

I'm truly grateful for that.

With each big milestone of my boys, I'm always reminded that we will not experience those with Madeline. But, through her tiny little life, I'm reminded not to take for granted the ones I have with my beautiful boys. She gave me a greater appreciation for life and for my children.

As I watched Eli stand by his teacher today, (who also happens to be his Aunt :)... I beamed with pride! I sure am proud of this little boy.

What a joy he is to us!

Happy new school year Elijah Braden!

We are praying for great things as you start your new adventure!!!

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy =)

Noah is also having a really big week!!!

Yesterday he turned eight!! Yes, eight! Man that makes me feel old...

And he just entered into the 3rd grade today. He is so happy!

I am throwing his birthday party this weekend and we can't wait. He has requested a "cowboys and indian" themed party... so fun!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, next week we will be starting to move!! We have so much going on in our lives right now so stay tuned! =) I'm hoping once we get settled at the farm I can catch you all up on of our fun from this summer! I'm also looking forward to spending some great one on one time with little Jonah Asher! We are so blessed!!!

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Much Love,
Natalie

Here are a few fun pictures of Eli as a baby and from today! Enjoy =)

Newborn Baby Eli

Toddler Eli

Kindergartener Eli!!!!

 

Of course Jonah needed a rocket back pack too. =) lol

Love my little boys!!!!