Looking through my rear view mirror

There are days when looking back is hard on me.

Back to the day my life changed forever. Back to the day that my perfect world was turned upside down.

I've tried my absolute hardest not to look back but forward. For when I start looking back it makes me lose sight of where I'm going. What lies ahead. I get down and discouraged about where I've been.

But on a particular day last week, my Husband reminded me that sometimes "looking back" reminds us of where we've been and why we are going where we are.

My husband was taking our oldest son to school for me while we had our other vehicle being worked on. I hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Rick that morning but I did notice he updated his facebook status (which is rare) later that day.

His status said this... "Took my boy to school this morning, couldn't take my eyes off him. Where has time gone? He's a little man now. He makes his daddy so proud. I love you Noah...I pray you always remain a daddy's boy. Don't grow up to fast."

I know exactly what he means. So many mornings. So many afternoons. I turn my rear view mirror to the backseat and I just "watch" my boys. I watch them talk to each other. I watch the expressions on their faces. I watch them giggle and play. I just watch them on the ride home or to wherever we are going.

I called Rick (with tears in my eyes) and I told him I do the same thing.

Yes, many mornings we are rushing out the door and I'm looking for shoes and coats, a book bag and a lunchbox.

But on some mornings, when I actually do have it all together (lol) I find myself doing exactly what Rick did that day.

Just watching.

Keeping my eyes on my little boy who is growing up too quickly and remembering how blessed I am to have him in my life.

And that is a very good reason to look back.

For it is the moments that we do look back to see what we have been given, that we realize what we have. Good or bad. It makes us who we are. God brings us to where we are. And it reminds us of where we are going.

I can look back in pain. Yes. But I can also look back in love.

For my daughter is in Heaven and I will never be able to look at her through my rear view mirror. But my sons, they are alive and well. They are growing and molding into the men that God wants them to be. They are growing up a little more each day, and one day they will be grown.

So for now, Rick and I will keep our eyes on them. We won't take our eyes off of them.

God has blessed us with these children and we have such a job to do with them.

They remind us of Who and what we live for.

I'm so thankful that on that crisp fall morning, Rick reminded me of what a blessing we tow around on a daily basis.

What little miracles appear in our rear view mirror. We ARE blessed.

I'm pushing forward everyday, remembering these things. God is good.

Phillipian 3:13-14
¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
 ¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.