God's gift of "Grace": December 2013

Yesterday was a very sweet and healing day for our family.

We woke up to a surprise, lots of unexpected Maddie kisses (snow) from our girl!! It was beautiful. The farm looked like a winter wonderland covered in snow and icicles.. I couldn't help but smile and feel like Madeline was smiling down on us on this special day.

We planned to take the boys out of school that day because we had something very special planned for them. They were getting to go with us to my 20 week ultrasound and take a peek at their little sister. <3 But luckily, they had a snow day!!

We excitedly got ready and headed to the hospital.

I heard them talking and giggling in the backseat and my heart smiled.

Some days when I look into my older boys eyes I feel sorry for them.

All the things they were missing out on with not having their baby sister grow up with them broke my heart... I watch them with their baby girl cousins... They are so gentle, so loving.

I watch them with Jonah and I just know that they would have been great with Madeline.

But that just wasn't meant to be. God had other plans for her little life. <3

But today, today was a hopeful day that they would get that opportunity again.

And I do truly believe they will.

We piled into the room and began the ultrasound.. I couldn't help but let my mind race back to each time I was here with the three little ones that surrounded me.. and the one who wasn't there.

What a blessing these children are to me. What love the Lord has blessed me with. He has given us an overabundance of love through each of our sweet babies and we are forever grateful.

We watched our sweet girl and this time instead of being fixed on the screen.. I looked around at all of my boys faces. I watched the nurse point out things and I watched the boys get excited. It was precious.

Seeing Emmaline's little profile made me cry. She is so beautiful.

It was just a reminded that God truly does give such beauty through the storm.

I miss Madeline. I miss her every day. And as her 3rd birthday approaches, I miss her even more.

But there is just something special about our little Emmaline. And I have a feeling that Maddie has some help in picking her out just for us.

Our little bunny.

God gave me one girl with wings, and the other with feet that I hope stay planted on this earth here with us.

He is so gracious and full of mercy. Every day.

Here are a few sweet moments from yesterday...

My sweet boy... We were here two years ago having him. And now

we are returning to see his little sister. <3 We are so thankful.

This statue has given me peace through many appointments starting with my pregnancy with Maddie Grace. I just love this little girl holding this little dove. <3